7 lifestyle tips to stop getting sick

Confession time: I prefer getting all my nutrients from food rather than popping supplements and powders. I focus on eating healthy and this used to be enough. I’d rarely get sick. Since becoming a Mum it’s a different story. Of course I took supplements prior to conceiving, during pregnancy and most of breastfeeding (I forgot here and there), and I irregularly take them now. Experience is telling me, though, that diet alone isn’t doing enough to build up my nutrient stores post children. It’s hard not to get a cold from a toddler child that needs cuddles and kisses and likes to give cuddles and kisses back. Pre-children I never got sick. I was dedicated to my fitness, ate a pescatarian whole food, low sugar, anti-inflammatory diet, and went years without so much as a cold. 

After two pregnancies and four and a half years of continuous breastfeeding (that’s a lot of nutrients sucked from my tissues) and, 5 years later, I still have my sleep interrupted by babes. I also have a child in day-care a couple of times a week who’s exposed to new pathogens constantly. It feels like I get sick A l l   t h e   t i m e.   I’m actually embarrassed about how often I get a cold. This is postnatal depletion syndrome.  

I’ve had enough. 

I’m boosting my nutritional profile by taking some concentrated vitamins and minerals, essential fatty acids and probiotics RELIGIOUSLY. And of course, botanical medicine. Medicinal Mushrooms are renowned for boosting the immune system, but intuitively, they don’t resonate with me at this time. Rather Echinacea, Baical Skullcap, Japanese Knotweed, Siberian Ginseng, Lemon Balm, Nettles and Withania are here to help me. I feel like my immune insufficiency is caused by nutrient depletion, and once I have those stores up, the mushrooms may be ready to help me. 

So here’s 7 lifestyle tips to overcome immune insufficiency caused by postnatal depletion:

1. Antioxidant rich foods. Antioxidants modify your immune response.  The phytochemicals that antioxidant rich foods provide the body help repair damage to your tissues caused by your immune response to infection. When you see colour in your fresh produce, you can safely assume that’s antioxidants, so that’s why the phrase ‘eat the rainbow’ is so popular. 

2. Getting adequate sleep: , the sleep hormone melatonin performs as a potent antioxidant, repairing and restoring your body. I know this is easy to say and not do when you mother small ones, so ask for help where you can, and do your best. It may mean turning off netflix and getting into bed earlier. Your sleep is much too valuable. 

3. Protein: Inadequate protein is linked to dysfunction in the immune system. Protein is available in meat, dairy, beans, legumes, wholegrains, eggs, nuts and seeds.

4. Wholefood diet - one that is based on foods that are as close to their natural state as possible. Not only do whole foods contain a wide array of nutrients, wider than foods that have been segmented, they also retain their vital force, or prana. Nutrients in their natural state work synergistically in the body to benefit the immune system. 

   Leave out

5. Sugar: Sugar is an immune suppressant with studies showing intake of sugar reduces the capacity of white blood cells to function properly, so therefore your immune response is weakened. Studies have shown that eating sugar can deplete the immune system for up to two hours after consumption. So that’s every time you eat sugar, you’re weakening your immune response for a time. 

6. Caffeine: Chronic and excessive intake of caffeine is likely to function as a stressor to the already depleted immune system. HOWEVER, in small amounts it’s actually anti-inflammotory, antioxidant and helps modulate the immune system, and may be particularly helpful in auto-immune conditions.  Yes I love caffeine. It’s been a saviour for me these past 5 years as I’m woken up often in the night and unnaturally early as well, that cup in the morning is supportive. If you’re having a lot, or having it with heaps of milk and sugar, then any anti-inflammatory effects may be lost. I try and keep to under 200mg of caffeine a day. For me this means using nespresso pods at home and rarely buying a coffee when out, as the caffeine content can vary greatly in cafe coffee. 

7. Preservatives: additives and colourings - Foods with these additives have, for the most part, long lost their vital force. Overly processed foods, while do provide calories to keep you going, do more harm than good in the long run. Often high in the wrong kinds of fats, sugars and a driver of inflammation, these kinds of foods wear you out. 

   If you’re rundown or experiencing repeated illnesses, nutritional and herbal medicine will help you build up your immune system and resilience. Nature has everything you need to thrive. Please book in for a naturopathic appointment for health coaching and a herbal and nutritional plan to restore your vitality. Life is too short to waste it feeling awful. 

6 household items you should lose to enhance your fertility

Plastics, and in particular BPA, build up in your system and can affect your fertility. The good news is that studies have shown that by reducing exposure, the amount of BPA in your system decreases significantly, and other kinds of plastics will likely reduce also. 

Head to your kitchen. Many kitchen utensils are made of plastics that break down when exposed to heat - directly into your food, and this is what you want to avoid. 

Replace all the following items with ceramic, glass or metal. 

• Reusable food storage containers - Ikea have some fabulous glass containers with timber lids

• Microwave safe bowls (don’t put plastic in the microwave all together)

• Reusable plastic water bottles and cups 

• Plastic tea kettles

• Colanders

• Blender containers that have been used with hot soups 

Although many plastic kitchen items in store are labelled BPA free, often the manufacturers have replaced BPA with a similar compound such as BPS that isn’t as well researched and may be just as damaging. In our society, until plastics are proven unsafe they are assumed safe. Perhaps they are, but then, asbestos was once assumed safe also, and with substances such as BPA proven to adversely affect fertility, it’s wise to err on the side of caution. The Handmaids Tale comes to mind (eep).

The plastics used for bottled water and food products on the supermarket shelf do not contain endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDC’s - the fertility damaging components of plastics) and you don’t need to stress as much about it. Reduce where you can and only drink bottled water when absolutely necessary. Tinned foods are more problematic than other shelf foods as the cans are lined with plastics. Although some are labelled BPA free, there’s no way to know what the replacement lining is, and whether it’s benign or not. In particular it’s important to avoid tinned tomatoes, as these are quite acidic and are therefore much better at leeching fertility damaging plastics into their juices. It’s easy enough to dice up your own tomatoes thankfully. Try and use fresh foods instead or products jarred in glass.

While preparing to conceive, ideally, you’ll be focusing on whole foods prepared from fresh ingredients and steering clear of processed foods. Not only are processed foods more likely to contain EDC’s, they’re also more inflammatory and overloaded with bad fats, sugar and salt.  You need a rainbow banquet of fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, protein and wholegrain to nourish your body and optimise your maturing eggs and sperm, so shopping at the farmers market for fresh produce and bulk food stores for nuts, dried beans and grains is not only better for the environment, but better for your future baby as well. 

Gorgeous baby image via upworthy.

Are everyday items destroying your fertility?

We’re nearly at the end of plastic free July, but saving the planet isn’t the only reason to get rid of plastic. Many, if not most, plastics out there have some form of endocrine disrupting chemicals (ie, they mess with your hormones and normal bodily function)  or persistent chemicals that hang out in your fat cells forever. In fact, in one analysis, 500 plastic products labelled ‘BPA free’ were analysed for endocrine disrupting chemicals. 90% were determined to contain endocrine disrupting chemicals and in some cases at higher and more damaging levels than BPA itself.* 

Whenever plastic is heated, frozen or exposed to the elements in any way it breaks down in tiny amounts and you end up ingesting it, such as from water bottles and take away containers, from water pipes in the ground, or through your skin from creams and cosmetics. 

Further to this, during pregnancy and breastfeeding your body will dump any plastic residues from your tissues into your baby while in utero and into breastmilk while breastfeeding. Alarmingly, pregnancy and lactation are the most efficient way for your body to detox these nasties - straight into your baby. Little is known on how much these chemicals affect the developing foetus however animals studies indicate there is a measurable negative effect on gene expression and health of the foetus as she grows to adulthood. 

I’m not here to alarm, don’t panic. Your body is wise and brilliant and can overcome these hurdles. For example getting plenty of folate in the diet has been shown to negate the negative effects of BPA. So there’s ways around it!  But please be wary and reduce usage of plastic products now. 

If you’re planning on starting a family, it’s wise to consider a full detox program approximately 6 to 8 months prior to first trying to conceive, especially if you have been exposed to a higher level of environmental toxins through your work, lifestyle and living environment. A detox takes approximately four to six weeks, and then you can start a preconception care program of approximately four months. You want as many nasties eliminated from your system as possible before starting your conception journey. 

*BPA has been proven to significantly disrupt fertility. Women with high levels of BPA are 87% more likely to suffer a miscarriage than women with low levels of BPA. 

Quercetin - The essential anti-viral supplement you never heard of

There’s been some good evidence for hydroxychloriquine lessening the impact of Covid-19. After some initial badly designed studies (and some bad press) it’s been found hydroxychloroquine improves outcomes and lowers fatality rates when administered early enough in the infection lifecycle.

Hydroxychloroquine works as an ionophore - that is - it helps zinc pass through cell membranes into virally infected cells and stop the virus replicating. It’s the zinc that stops the virus once inside the cell. Hydroxycholoriquine  is like a gate opener that allows the zinc the pass through. 

The thing is - hydroxychloroquine isn’t for everyone and has some serious side effects. 

You know what else works as a zinc ionophore? Quercetin - a flavanoid found in onions, apples, grapes, berries, and citrus fruits. It’s also found in herbs such as St johns wort, Gingko and Cranberry. Quercetin is also great for soothing allergies, protecting your heart and improves reproductive health in men. It's an all round good thing to have in your body.

Quercetin is also available in supplement form and I recommend taking with vitamin C and zinc to get maximum anti-viral effects in the case of respiratory infection. 

If you want to add some immune enhancing supplements and herbs to your medicine cupboard, I have some naturopathic appointments available where you get a health plan and prescription of quality herbs and/or supplements tailored to your individual needs. You can book your appointment here.

Anti-Anxiety herbs for you: Kava

The numbing of the tongue and throat is immediately noticeable when first taking Kava. I find the relaxation and anti-anxiety effects are obvious within minutes. Studies have shown that the higher your level of anxiety, the better Kava works at settling your nerves.  

Kava has been used as a ceremonial drink in the Pacific Islands for thousands of years. When taken, it brings relaxation, sociability and a mild euphoria followed by a relaxing sleep. Partakers wake refreshed and hangover free. Until a couple of years ago, Kava was prohibited in West Australia, but that prohibition has now been lifted.  

Kava is an important anxiolytic. It offers just as much anti-anxiety action as more standard anti-anxiety pharmaceuticals yet doesn’t result in the bad moods that accompany these medications.  

Kava connects the mind with the heart, binging a deeper sense of love and security. If taken just before retiring it will help lull you off into a deep and relaxing sleep.  

In the early 2000’s liver disease and a few deaths were attributed to Kava consumption. A herb that had been used for over 3000 years was suddenly not safe. However in 2008 WHO declared Kava safe for use. It was determined the alcohol based extracts, the use of leaves and branches instead of just the roots, and possibly the varieties of Kava were the cause of the adverse affects. Piper Methysticum (which translates to intoxicating pepper) prepared traditionally or in a water based extract is completely safe and too important as an anxiolytic and sleep aid to not use.  

Kava not recommended for pregnancy and breastfeeding, or for long term use. Overuse can result in stupour and a scaly rash. Traditionally it was used ceremonially, not as an everyday thing. However one group of study participants took Kava for 6 months without adverse effects.

I’m open for online herbal medicine consults, and herbs can be posted out or picked up in South Fremantle.

Giving your baby your very best genes

Have you heard of epigenetics?

You may have a genetic pre-disposition to a range of conditions. 

But not all genes are expressed automatically. 

Your lifestyle affects whether genes are expressed or not. So for example you may have a gene for varicose veins. Your mother and grandmother each developed varicose veins from an early age. You may also have the gene, but with the right diet and exercise the gene may not be expressed at all or until much later in life.  

With optimal health during the preconception phase when the egg and sperm are developing, the healthiest genes possible will be passed on to the new baby. 

If you’re interested in becoming pregnant soon I’m currently putting together an online course to make the pre-conception care journey as simple as possible for you. You can sign up for updates here through this link, and score a free digital download on ovulation while you’re at it.

Wishing you well,

Libby

5 things to try when your kids are driving you crazy

Roll out your yoga mat and stream a yoga class. 

After weeks of a particularly bad, clingy, tantrummy, destructive terrible twos phase (here’s hoping it’s a phase) I was starting to be worn down and cracks were beginning to show. In a particularly frustrating moment I found myself yelling at my kids and saying things like ‘don’t come near me’ feeing exasperated at the 78 things to be exasperated about. Anyway ‘don’t come near me’ …this is heartbreaking for little people to hear. 

I knew I’d gone way too far and after big cuddles and apologies I sat down to an online yoga class where the teacher asked us to sit in the self-awareness mudra (legs crossed, index fingers to thumb resting on top of your knees) and set an intention. Today’s intention was about giving ourselves a compliment. It was unnatural to give myself a compliment in that moment feeling terrible as I did about my angry mummy self, but also exactly what I needed. I set my intention. “I am a calm, loving and wonderful mother” 

Immediately after a few moments of peace with the intention, my two-year-old interrupted me for something or other, but I already felt so much better. Sometimes he wants to be cuddled for the entire yoga class, and I just do poses around him as best I can. 

I use gaia.com for yoga and I particularly love the ‘yoga every day’ series on Gaia but there are other paid yoga streaming services and free classes on you tube. Find one you like

Get out of the house to the park. 

I prefer parks where the children are fenced in so they can’t run away and force you to chase them. If your kids are past the running-away-to-potential-death phase, then the world is your oyster. Children absolutely thrive in nature. Fresh air, breezy trees and safe places to jump around and socialise. There are other parents for you to chat too. What’s not to like. 

Garden.

Hands on planting, weeding and especially watering with tiny little watering cans, connects you to the earth and brings peace and calm. Plus kids are so cute when completely absorbed in their little gardening tasks that you completely forgive them for being massive pains in the ass. 

Surrender.

Sometimes just lying back on the couch and reading them stories for an hour, running around and playing games and following their lead is the best thing you could possibly do. Forget the housework, and what YOU wanted to get done that day, just be. Janet Lansbury, my go-to toddler parenting guru, says that children are the best directors of their own play. The games and activities they come up with are exactly what they need for their growth and development at that time. So listening to their ideas and following that lead is the best way to go. Requests for screen time apparently don’t count as development though, so when this happen, redirect, wait it out and distract with toys and other games… or just put paw patrol on and have a goddam break for 45 minutes. 

Get Childcare

Give them to their other parent/relative/friend/ babysitter for a couple of hours and take yourself on a date with yourself, for yourself. Long soaks in the tub, art gallery, the movies, or one of my personal faves, staying in bed with books, magazines, netflix and cups of tea all day long. You freaking deserve it. 

4 surprising ways to get True Rest

So often we hear advice to ‘rest’ but what does that really mean?  I’ve noticed, especially when taking what I think of as physical rest, that I often feel like it goes too quick and I’m not any more energised. 

True rest comes in many forms. 

1 Physical Rest

This is what I most regularly think of when I hear the word rest. Quite often I fantasise about lying on the couch watching netflix for as long as I want. Or even better, lying in my bed reading books, laptop and phone within reach,  teapot at my side, uber eats at my fingertips. And then of course, there’s the holiday style of rest, lying by the pool at the resort, sun on your face. Most importantly of all though, there’s sleep. Adequate sleep. That you need to get every single night. 

I used to consider myself a night owl. What my fuzzy brain struggled to understand at 2pm became clear at 9.00pm and suddenly all my resistance was gone and I could work away. When I would eventually get into bed I’d lie awake for a while, and I’d tell myself because I’m not falling asleep there’s definitely no point in getting to bed earlier. 

But then I discovered that by getting into bed at 9.30, reading for half an hour and turning out the lights strictly at 10pm I’d fall asleep almost immediately. I’d sleep all night long and I’d wake up rested. Absolute game changer. 

A ritual bath is another wonderful way to get some physical rest. Run a bath, add flowers, crystals, magnesium salts, essential oils. Light candles and dot them around the room. Play music. Soak. 

And then of course there’s bodywork and massage therapies. As humans we have a fundamental need for physical touch. Receiving kindness in the form of bodywork therapy heals on several different  levels. 

2. Active Rest

The best way to go about this one is to get into your body. Deeply. Perhaps with exercise, such as a run, yoga poses, breath work, slow and deliberate walks in nature. Wonderful sex. Being present in your body can take you out of your mind in supremely positive way. Have you ever had inspiration hit you right in the throes of some heavy exercise, like in a cycle class? I have. Getting into your body can open up some channels to your higher wisdom, because you’re no longer blocking it with lower vibrational or fear based thoughts. The word Inspire is from the Latin word inspirare meaning ‘to breathe in'

3. Emotional Rest

Sometimes a break from the constant worry and pain we put ourselves through, or our loved ones put us through, is a pure blessing. Life can drag you through the ringer. It’s completely normal to be controlled by our emotions, but it’s not necessary.  And then there’s the tight and restrictive emotional anguish caused by guilt, anger and regret. 

This is where forgiveness practices, gratitude practices and acceptance practices shine their light. Finding peace, even temporary peace, with a situation that has been causing anguish and worry offers immense relief, if only for a short time it’s still worth it. Look our for free meditation podcasts on forgiveness. Practice wild compassion with yourself and others. Come into the present. I love the subtle vibrations of flowers and crystals for helping heal on the emotional sphere. Seek out flowers or rocks that attract you. Sit with them with the intention of relief. Or book a flower essence consultation with a qualified practitioner and get your own personal blend. 

4. Mental Rest

Our inner dialogue can really beat the hell out of us if we leave it unchecked. We are so often our most unforgiving critics. Here forgiveness (of self and others), non-judgement* and again, conscious acceptance practices, can bring happiness. Journalling, with a focus on what you like about yourself, lessons you’ve learnt, and advice to your younger self can really help. Exercise, such as in active rest, is wonderful here. If feeling stressed out and anxiety are common there are many wonderful herbs that can help you boost your resilience and find balance. 

So when you’re feeling worn out consider what kind of rest you could most benefit from. Be kind to yourself and schedule some in. Then you can rock on shining your light and being the beautiful, necessary and important beacon you are with a full cup.

*I loved Gabrielle Bernstein’s book Judgement Detox, for understanding and de-constructing our own judgements (hint: all your judgements about others are a reflection of your own fears or pain). And understanding the judgements of others. 

Pre-conception Care Works

If you knew you could enhance the health of your future children wouldn’t you do it?  

You can. There’s good solid evidence that suggests the health of you and you partner at the time you conceive, while you carry and in the early life of your child has a profound outcome on their lifetime health.

At the age of 30 I wanted to conceive a child but I’d literally spent the past 12 years partying almost every weekend, because, well, I like a good time. My party days were over however and I was willing to do ANYTHING to ensure a healthy pregnancy and baby.

I’ve always been into healthy food, and I was a regular exerciser for years. but I also loved good healthy (read robust) drink on the weekends.

I wanted to undo this damage as much as possible before conceiving. I completed a preconception care program, you can read about it here through this link, and I have now have two gorgeous healthy children to show for it.

Your eggs lay dormant in your ovaries your entire life until it’s their time to ovulate.

It’s only in the three months prior to ovulation that the eggs start to mature. It’s during this critical window that your egg determines whether it’s going to have,  say, 23 pairs of chromosomes for example (the ideal number) instead of an anomaly. Sperm are produced in the two months prior to conception and are easily affected by environmental stressors and toxins. Good levels of nutrition and avoidance of toxins - such as those found in plastics and household chemicals, and oxidative stress from both the mother and the father reduce the risk of miscarriage, and support a full term healthy pregnancy.  This is backed by research.

But there’s more. What if your preconception behaviour helped switch on all the healthy genes? The intelligence genes? The creative genius? The athletic prowess? We don’t know for sure what’s possible, and this stuff is hard to prove. But if you’re as healthy as possible wouldn’t it make sense that the healthiest possible DNA is passed on to your offspring and allowed to thrive?

We know that nutritional deficit or absence of health affects the unborn negatively, so couldn’t the opposite be true to?

What we do know for sure is that preconception care DOES impact the success of conception and supports an uncomplicated full term pregnancy. The nutritional status of the mother, her weight, and the population of her micro biome (her gut bacteria) impact whether the child eventually develops allergies, asthma, obesity, autoimmune disease and autism spectrum disorders. Emerging science associates the fathers age, diet, stress levels and alcohol consumption to the health of their offspring.

Pre-conception care really is the ultimate in preventative medicine. And it’s easy. I show you how in my upcoming online course Make the healthiest baby possible: A four month journey preparing your body to conceive. Sign up for my emails to stay in the loop.  In the meantime keep an eye out on my blog and Facebook live vids for tips on a healthy preconception care lifestyle.

Why I'm quitting wine time

When I went on holidays four months ago now I started a nightly wine habit. At the end of the day with all my time taken by the demands of my children, sipping a glass of wine while I cook dinner gives a consistent and easy ‘break.’ An delightful escape while still in the throes of dinner, bath, bedtime and clean-up. Its dependable, wine doesn’t let me down.  The subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle shift in sobriety feels like a reward for being prevented from thinking in complete sentences or following a thought process through to action by the constant interruptions and demands of toddlers.

But it’s bad for me. It’s so bad for me. the sugar, the useless calories, the inflammation.  I’m sure it’s ageing me, and I’ve become such a snacker. I’ve gained weight to a point where I no longer feel that great about my hips. And definitely not my calves. My kids have started talking about my tummy. My intuition is cloudier, and it’s starting to take me longer to get going in the morning. I don’t want this anymore.

I know, from experience that once I abstain for a couple of weeks I won’t ever think about it or miss it. But it hasn’t been easy to stop. I open a bottle and have one, maybe two glasses, Andy has one or two, and then there’s still plenty left for the next night and even the night after that. It becomes a nightly habit so easily.

I might go two or three days without wine most weeks. After this short break it feels like wine is a non-issue and rather fun, so I or my husband get another bottle and then we have another couple of nights supply. The habit is fed. It’s a subtle addiction cycle.

The physiology of addiction generally means a release of neurotransmitters such as GABA and dopamine in a rush that is mildly to strongly euphoric. And then in the absence and lack of the neurotransmitter the cravings come. 'Have that substance again so you can feel good’ Your brain and body calls out to you. It’s a cycle, an unnecessary cycle that keeps you trapped always wanting more.

I need to wade through the discomfort with grace and elegance like a dancing crane, according to a reading of my Kuan Yin oracle* cards today. Wading through the discomfort is most definitely necessary.

The challenge is leaning into the discomfort instead of away from it with yet another glass of wine. It takes is a willingness to get to the other side. When in those moments of discomfort if I just allow myself to be there feeling it (oh my god the kids are driving me crazy…) and experience that it’s really not that bad.  It’s bearable.  I have to keep my own promise to myself by choosing not to pour a glass.

With some patience and focus the cravings will disappear, the habit will be forgotten and I won’t even think about it.

My desire to do better is divinely guided.

Grief and your inner wisdom

On the Friday just past I lost my darling dog Jim.  

He was my constant companion these last 13 years, since I was 21. He represented a time of freedom, My early adulthood. He was our love child. Andy and I got Jim because we loved each other so much. He was the beginning of our family.

We had been together for a year and been trying to settle in Melbourne, but it wasn’t happening. We went to Phillip Island for a weekend getaway and there we saw a beautiful border collie running up the beach, his long mane flowing in the wind. In that moment we had a shared epiphany.

Thats what we wanted. Let’s do that. Andy returned to Perth and within the space of a week had a job, a car, a house and a border collie puppy from Pinjarra. He named him Jim.

I stayed in Melbourne for a couple more weeks, hanging out with my bestie Kat. It was the last time I would see her. She passed 4 months later. I remember how Jim was there with a happy face as I sat in the back garden bleary eyed and and shellshocked with her passing. How he walked with me to Kirkwoods deli at 6am the morning after so I could buy some cigarettes. How oblivious he seemed to my pain. How he taught me that life goes on.

I have not felt grief since, until now.

When I think back on those years Jims presence was a true light. He was soft and shiny and incredibly handsome. So full of love, and cuddles. And present moment joy.

He truly looked like my relative, I’d think. A member of my soul family.

He grew to be somewhat of a familiar. Sitting outside the shiatsu room as I gave massages. Helping bring through the light.

He ran with me, for years. Regular 5k runs. No lead necessary. No lead necessary because he was dependably obedient. Wait, wait, wait, wait, OK. He pissed on everything. Got in a couple of nasty fights, but mostly ran away and avoided challenge. Sometimes he even crossed the road to avoid an ominous dog up ahead.

He used to be amused when we picked up after him.

Nothing made him happier than going out for walks with the family, his pack.

When Andy and I had a cuddle. Jim would come and join in.

Once I had Evie, three years ago now,  I couldn’t pay him attention in the same way. When John John came along I could do so even less. I’m biologically wired to focus on my children, as are all mothers. In these last few months I’ve been more aware of him, more able to let him in again. More conscious to give him pats and attention. But nothing like what it was for the first ten years of his life, before we had babies, when I loved him with my whole being and could devote my attention to him.

I did still of course, love him, but I wasn’t in touch with that part of me. I was distracted by the overwhelming demands of my own children. Even on Thursday night when Andy was gravely concerned about Jims health I found it difficult to emotionally connect to the situation. Then that night I had a prophetic dream where I was being accused of ‘hating jim’ …that I started bawling my eyes out (in the dream) and explaining I did love him I just haven’t had time or the emotional energy or space since having my children. The emotion was raw and fierce and most importantly, connected me with the love I have for Jim. Evie and John John both woke up at the same time right in the midst of this dreaming, unusually early at 5am. Because of the rude awakening my emotional connection to Jim stayed with me. This was a gift from my consciousness preparing me for the day ahead.

I was grumpy all morning until Andy left to drop the children off at daycare. Then I went back to bed. In bed I cried for Jim. I cried and cried like he was already passed. I thought to myself, why don’t you go and actually pat him, he’s just sitting outside. I did. He moved his head to meet my hand, fur still so soft, eyes a bit cloudy.

Even with all this emotion and readiness, it was shocking and hard to hear he needed to be put down that day. To prolong his life anymore was simply cruel, and risky.

I saw him on his bed. His head down. His shoulders slumped. There was a flatness about his energy, his spirit was ready to leave his body.

Andy took him to the vet and left him for examination, expecting to pick him up again and bring him home for recovery. Within a couple of hours they’d called with some bad news. Prepare for him to go.

I got in the car with Andy, breathed out heavy. We had a gorgeous dog with us all this time, for nearly all of our relationship, but today is the day he dies. I breathed out again.

The last couple of days have been a process of grief. I’m in no hurry to move on. I’m feeling all the sadness in the way it needs to be felt.

I’ve found my own inner wisdom gives the most healing inspiration.  The day after I dug out the old photo albums. I saw all the happy times, the fun, his youth and beauty, the thousands of walks over thirteen years.

I did some restorative yoga. The movement helped move and release the emotion in my body.

That afternoon I watched Marley and Me, the movie helped clarify and validate my experience. It soothed me.

I watched a wrinkle in time, more soul medicine.

I went to birthday party and spoke to friends, I went to a workshop and sat circle with women.

I wrote, I kept feeling called to write but I sat at my computer for an hour not able to, just feeling pain.  I went to give up many times but my inner wisdom told me to sit back down and keep trying. and I did, and now I’ve written I feel much better. More healed.

Your own inner wisdom knows the best medicine.

How blessed we have been.

The secret to excellent health

When 'The Secret' came out 10 years or so ago my colleagues at my office job used to make fun of it. “Oh yeah, I want that diamond ring…look, theres one on the floor”

This documentary, now available on Netflix, sensationalised the concept of The law of attraction, and focused on material objects as the focus.

This is a tricky subject to approach. In many respects it sounds too good to be true. The law of attraction sounds impossible in a universe built on randomness and chance.

However I don’t believe this is a universe built on randomness and chance.   I’m sharing this today because in my experience, the law of attraction works. As a health practitioner, I feel I’d be doing a disservice not to talk about this.

The law of attraction isn’t just about dreaming up a perfect house and a flush bank account, it encompasses everything. Your relationships, your health, your experiences, the people you meet.

What we focus on becomes our reality. 

The trick is learning how to focus on what we want, not on what we don’t want. A practice much harder then it sounds.

This practice of deliberate focus and gratitude are interwoven components of the good life. The life you want to live.

No matter how much effort you go to, how many long walks and special diets.  if in your head you are battling with bad health, bad health is what you’ll have.

Instead embrace the good health you have. You have a bad hip, concentrate on the feeling in your good one, or in your pain free toes.

 In debilitating conditions this takes a masterful amount of self control. I’m not there (yet), we’re all learning, we’re all on the path. This is something that takes practice.

 When sick we focus on the feeling of the symptoms. It hard not to when it’s right there in your face. The pain, the discomfort, the disability. Instead try and focus on what’s going right for you right now.

The other night I had a tickle in my throat, my son has been coughing for a couple of weeks. Maybe I’d caught his bug. Instead of concentrating on the tickle and slight cough that was developing, I tried hard to focus on the times in between, where my breathing was easy, my nose was clear. Where I felt healthy, normal and comfortable.

The next morning I was better. My cough didn’t return the following night, though I had a slight sore throat in the evening again. .I’ve healed. I’ve had to blow my nose a couple of times, but of much and I’m not uncomfortable at all.

Over the two days I also chomped down a couple of doses of a herbal immune support supplement including echinacea, withania, andrographis and mushrooms to boost my immune system. And took a load of vitamin C and zinc. You have to take action if you want your desires to manifest. 

According to the book Money and the Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks,  the best way to practice positive thinking is to upgrade your thoughts.

So if you have a thought that makes you feel bad or defeated, try for another thought that makes you feel slightly better, and then another thought that makes you feel slightly better again.

This was me the other night:  Oh no my throat hurts and I’m coughing. I hope this doesn’t develop and hang around for weeks.

To:  I’m not coughing right now this is good

To: I feel so relaxed, comfortable and well.

Do you see how being very much being in the moment makes these thought upgrades possible. In the above scenario - the one I lived the other night. I would cough a few moments later, but I brought my thoughts back to how well I feel in the moments I wasn’t coughing, and kept this up until I fell asleep.

This is not always easy, but all you can do is your best.

So what do you want to attract into your life?

Focus on feeling connected with your partner, your children. Focus on the love and respect you have for them. Focus on how well you feel, and all the things your body does right. Focus on the abundance you have available to you, the pay deposited in your bank account, the savings accumulating, the extreme comfort you live in.

And what you focus on will multiply. Not necessarily in a physical sense, but through your perception.You will perceive more of the good stuff.  

I highly recommend some further reading, such as the books by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Marianne Williamson The Law of Divine Compensation.

Author Pam Grout has written a couple of books setting up experiments using the Law of Attraction. I haven’t read these but they’ve been sell outs so they might be fun play with.

Watch 'The Secret' on Netflix, there’s also a book of the same name.

Have you had a good experience with the law of attraction? Please share your story in the comments below.

Blessings

Ginger Pear & Pumpkin Soup with Coriander Pesto

 This recipe is a velvety celebration of autumn. Ginger is highly revered as a 'universal medicine' in ayuveda, according to Rosalie de la Foret in her book gorgeous book 'Alchemy of Herbs.'  The immune boosting and anti-inflammatory properties inspired this recipe but ginger is quite good in pregnancy nausea and motion sickness, and helps remedy a fever by dilating the blood vessels. The Ras el hanout offers quite a bit of anti-inflammatory and circulatory stimulant properties as well. This is truly a soup to warm, nourish, and revitalise. The coriander has an affinity for toxic heavy metals and will bond to them and carry them right out of your body.  

• a good chunk of Pumpkin, diced
• 1 Brown Onion
• 2 Garlic cloves
• 4 cm knob of ginger
• 1 Pear, peeled, cored, chopped
• 1 litre bone broth/vegie stock
• 1 ras el hanout
• 2 bunches Coriander
• a couple of glugs of olive oil
• 1 lime
• ½ handful almonds

Preheat the oven to about 190℃. Spread the pumpkin out on a baking tray. Add 1 - 2 tbsp olive oil. Stir to smother the pumpkin in oil completely and season with some pink sea salt. Roast for 30 minutes.

Once the pumpkin is in the oven chop your garlic and onion and add some more olive oil to a pot on the stove. Heat to medium and add the onion. The longer you let the onion simmer the more delicious it will be, so brown for a minimum of 5 minutes but for as long as 25. Once you're satisfied with your simmered onions add the ginger, garlic and Ras el hanout and stir until fragrant.

Add the stock and the pear and bring to a strong simmer. Add in the pumpkin hot from the oven, remove your pot from the heat and blend until smooth. I like to use a stick blender because the process of transferring hot liquids into a blender makes me nervous.

Serve with a dollop of Coriander pesto

Coriander Pesto

Add Coriander, almonds, olive oil and a good pinch of salt to a food processor.  A mini one will be fine if you have one of those and blend. You could also use a mortar and pestle. Grind or blend into a chunky paste.

Healing Constipation in Children + Bliss Ball recipe

Constipation is quite common in children. Up to 28% of children experience constipation at some stage.

If the staining and difficulty with passing bowel movements continues past two weeks and causes considerable stress to the child please seek help from a medical professional.

In the meantime try these simple remedies to see if you can get things moving along.

Bulk laxatives are ideal for treating childhood constipation. Linseeds, slippery elm, psyllium and chia seeds attract and hold onto water, moistening and adding bulk to the stool for easy elimination.

Linseeds and slippery elm are gentler and are better suited for younger children

Slippery Elm dosages

Slippery elm is to be stirred into water or you can use juice to make the remedy more appetising for the child

In children

infants: 1/4 tsp in breastmilk or formula up to three times per day

10 - 20kg 1/2 tsp three times per day with meals

20 - 40kg 3/4 tsp three times per day with meals

40 kg + 1 tsp three times per day with meals

Psyllium is more abrasive and not recommend for smaller children. in older children it an be dosed similarly to slippery elm above.

Chia or flaxseed can be added sprinkled on breakfast cereal, stirred into yoghurt or added to smoothies.

Prunes and Figs are wonderful natural laxatives. Be sure to include them in the diet.

Eat: lots of high fibre food such as fresh fruits, raw green leafy vegetables, whole grain oatmeal and brown rice. Asparagus, mussels sprouts, cabbage, carrots, garlic, kale, okra, peas sweet potatoes and whole grains.

Include foods that contain high levels of soluble fibre such as adzuki beans, barley, dried beans, oats, and some fruits especially apples, apricots, bananas, blackberries, blueberries, cranberries, figs.

Eat Insoluble fibre: Fruit and vegetable peel is a excellent source of insoluble fibre as are grapes,peaches and prunes. Other insoluble fibre foods include cereals, seeds, wheatbran, and wholegrains.

Drink more water: Children ages 1- 3 need 1.3 litres - about 5 glasses of water a day. Older children should be drinking more.

Consume foods high in pectin: apples, carrots, beets, bananas, cabbage, citrus fruits, dried peas.

Minimise soft drinks,meat, white flour, highly processed foods, salt and sugar These things typically have little fibre and stagnate. + Nutritional healing Phyllis A Balch

Lets Get Moving Bliss Balls.

There is no easy or appealing way to use the words ‘constipation’ or ‘balls’ in the same sentence. However these energy snacks are intended to appeal to your child and help their bowel motions along. They also packed with minerals have some extra goodness for brain health with the hemp and walnuts.

Of course they work for adults too.

To make a nut free version swap out the walnuts for pepitas or more sunflower seeds and swap out the almonds for another 1/2 cup of hemp seeds.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup walnuts, chopped

2/3 cup sunflower seeds, chopped

1/2 cup almonds, chopped

1/2 cup hemp seeds

1/2 cup porridge oats

2/3 cup chopped dried apricots or try other dried fruit*

2/3 cup of figs

1/3 cup dates

2/3 cup chopped pitted prunes

2 tablespoons chia seeds

2 tablespoons cacao powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 tablespoons honey

1 cup (90g) desiccated coconut for rolling the balls at the end

Add all ingredients except the coconut to a food processor and process until there are no large pieces and the mixture is sticking together nicely.

Scoop the mixture out with a teaspoon and roll into balls. Coat in the desiccated coconut by tipping the coconut onto a plate and rolling the balls in it.

these should ideally be consumed with a big glass of water.

*Ideally you would use sulphite free/and organic dried fruit with no added vegetable oils. The sulphites are a preservative also found in wine. They stop the dried fruit from going brown. Dark raisins or prunes don’t usually have sulphites, nor do dates. Sulphites commonly irritate little bellies. The vegetable oils are added to stop the fruit from sticking together, however they can become rancid and are an unnecessary and inflammatory addition to your child’s diet. Check your local health food store to see what’s available.

If the best you can do is the regular supermarket variety of dried fruit, and your child doesn’t seem to react to dried fruit usually then please go ahead with what you have available.

Do you have fever phobia?

If you child has a temperature and you'd like guidance click here

All parents can relate to the primal fear felt upon discovering a small child has a fever. Your heart drops and there’s lead in your belly. Fevers are frightening for all parents. Your child is ill and it’s terrifying

Fever may be indicative of a sinister illness, and especially in a young baby needs a medical diagnosis by a doctor. All babies under 3 months old with fever need to see a doctor for a professional diagnosis.

Most likely though, the fever is not sinister, and after the infection has run it’s course, maybe a day or two later, all will be well again.

It’s very common to treat fever with paracetamol or ibuprofen. However fever is your bodies way of fighting off infection. A higher body temperature activates immune cells and provides an inhospitable environment for invading pathogens. Treating your child’s fever may prolong the infection and even lead to chronic and recurring symptoms.

The majority of feverish illnesses do not present a serious threat however treating all fevers with paracetamol may be aborting important natural healing processes.

Modern studies are correlating paracetamol use with high incidences of chronic sinus problems, phlegm,  swollen glands, ear infection and allergic eczema, especially in children.

Could the use of paracetamol to bring down fever result in infections that don’t clear up completely leading to ongoing problems?

Evie was about three or four weeks old when she had her first fever. I think just on 38 deg C was as bad as it got, so it was only slight, but enough that I was highly concerned. We went off to the doctor. Andy came with me. I believed the fever was fighting the infection, my husband was unsure and concerned. I asked the GP  if we should let the fever to fight the illness rather then give panadol to bring the fever down. He told me that it’s better to make the child comfortable and not proven that giving panadol prolongs the illness.

His comment was misleading.

There’s plenty of data  that indicates fever is beneficial for illness. 

I understand the popularity of panadol. Giving panadol makes you feel like you’re doing something.

It’s such a relief to see the temp come back down again. It makes you feel like they’re getting better. That the nightmare is over. But it’s not true, it’s an illusion. The panadol was making everyone feel better, but it wasn’t fixing the illness. It was a bandaid.

My 10 month old son woke up with his second fever  in the space of a week .The Tuesday before he’s had an overnight fever that seemed to be ok in the morning. Some slight gastro issues but otherwise good.

Now it was Sunday morning and his temp was up at 39.5 again. He was miserable. As is the advice if your child is miserable give panadol I gave him some panadol. Every 4 - 6 hours thereafter his temp would shoot back up. My husband and I were, of course, concerned.

Although he wasn’t always miserable we continued to give panadol. Under the pain relief John John would charge around the floor playing, cooing and exploring like he was invincible. Like he wasn’t sick. Then the panadol would ware off and his fever would climb back up again. He needed rest, rest he wasn’t getting under the influence of the paracetamol. After 24 hours I decided to let the fever run. He wasn’t getting better, we needed to try something else.

I sat there with him in my arms, he was breastfeeding, uncomfortable but coping. Lying still. He was healing.  I was checking his temp every minute or so. 39.5  39.7 39.4 My husband couldn’t bare it however and fearful that the fever itself was somehow damaging insisted on another dose of panadol. And so on. Andy was ringing around talking to family members. They were all deadset that the fever MUST COME DOWN. They had fever phobia.

"Fever phobia is the name given by medical experts to parents' misconceptions about fever in their children. Among them, many parents incorrectly believe that fever is a disease rather than a medical sign, that even low fevers are harmful, and that any temperature even briefly or slightly above the oversimplified "normal" number marked on a thermometer is a clinically significant fever (1). They are also afraid of harmless side effects like febrile convulsions and dramatically overestimate the likelihood of permanent damage from typical fevers.

The underlying problem, according to professor of pediatrics Barton D. Schmitt, is "as parents we tend to suspect that our children’s brains may melt.”

Febrile convulsions are fits that occur in about 1 in 30 children with a high temp. In nearly all cases these convulsions aren’t damaging and have no long-term effects. The convulsions are usually over within two minutes. If the fits continue for over five minutes there is some cause for concern. A child’s temperature needs to reach 42 before the heat becomes damaging.

Here are some of the findings indicating fever is beneficial for illness.

The higher the temp on admittance to hospital with bacterial infection the lower the death rate.

This indicates that by bringing the temperature down the immune system is compromised in doing it’s job.

And this further information explained by Dr Paul Young, fever researcher

Treating a Fever

• increases death rates from infections in animals

• worsens nasal symptoms in children with colds

• prolongs blisters in children with chickenpox

• blunts the immune response triggered in children in response to vaccinations.”

Most feverish illnesses are not dangerous however it's common to treat all fever with paracetamol. 

By bringing down the fever we could be halting our natural healing processes.

Modern studies are correlating paracetamol use with high incidences of chronic sinus problems, phlegm,  swollen glands, ear infection and allergic eczema, especially in children.

Could the use of paracetamol to bring down fever result in infections that don’t clear up 100% and lead to these long-term problems?

By letting the fever run it’s course you’re giving the immune system the best chance at a quick resolution.

What to do when your child has a temperature?

First of all we need to rule out a dangerous infection such as Meningitis or Pneumonia. See a doctor and get a diagnosis. All children under 3 months old must see a doctor if they have a fever. - Anything above 37.3.

After a medical diagnosis has ruled out a serious infection the fever can be managed or even nurtured.

For the fever itself to do any damage the childs temperature needs to reach 42 deg celsius. This is very rare.

Some background info:

At the beginning of a fever blood is directed away from peripheral organs and to the centre of the body and muscles begin to shiver in order to raise heat. The patient feels cold and seeks out warmth, further enabling the fever to rise.

When the temperature is rising the patient feels cold

When the body temp rises to a new level of stability, the symptoms of chill lesson. The circulation to the periphery opens up, the patient begins to sweat, clothing and coverings are thrown off. The patient feels hot as the temperature falls

The fever has broken

In a baby under 6 months old plenty of breastfeeding and cuddles are all they need.

For older children.

Bedrest. Cuddles. nurturing.

Plenty of fluids.

A diaphoretic tea may help the child feel more comfortable once the fever has broken.

Any or all of these herbs can be prepared into a tea at home

Peppermint leaves

Elder flower

Yarrow

Chamomile

For a baby a tsp of each in a tea strainer and pour hot water over the top into a cup. Allow to cool and then allow the child to sip. For an older child the tea can be steeped for a bit longer.

The peppermint and chamomile can be found in the supermarket. Elderflower and Yarrow can be sourced from a dried herb supplier.

Theres one in the Fremantle markets.

Just use peppermint and chamomile if the yarrow and elderflower are unavailable.

Create and infuse with healing intention.

For John John I made a weak tea of peppermint by pouring hot water through a tea strainer filled with peppermint leaves. He seemed to like it.

Another Consideration: Raising a Fever 

 It may be beneficial to help the body raise a fever to fight off infection. So in the onset of illness, certain heat raising immune stimulating herbs may be called for to aid in recovery. Ginger, garlic and cinnamon, a tsp of each stirred into a tea and allowed to sit for 5 or 10 minutes, and then sipped by the patient.

Prepare them by popping them into bed, a minimal fresh diet and plenty of fluids.

Helpful Links and Resources:

http://www.health.vic.gov.au/edfactsheets/downloads/fever-in-children.pdf

http://www.abc.net.au/health/talkinghealth/factbuster/stories/2012/07/31/3557498.htm

Crocetti M, Moghbeli N, Serwint J; Moghbeli; Serwint (June 2001). "Fever phobia revisited: have parental misconceptions about fever changed in 20 years?". Pediatrics. 107 (6): 1241–6. doi:10.1542/peds.107.6.1241. PMID 11389237.

Klass, Perri (10 January 2011). "Lifting a Veil of Fear to See a Few Benefits of Fever". The New York Times. Archived from the original on 29 September 2015.

http://www.health.vic.gov.au/edfactsheets/downloads/fever-in-children.pdf

Spiced Root Vegetable Shepherds Pie

Aka Ignite Your Earthly Passions Shepherds Pie  

The beetroot in this pie blends through the carrot and complimets the lamb wonderfully. It’s just the colour you want to see when you sink the serving spoon into the white golden crust of this crowd pleaser.  It’s also a fabulous way to get vegetables into children and husbands (or wives).

I had guests over for dinner this last full moon on Saturday night just gone. It was a full moon in Taurus was a moon for passion, so say the astrologers.

I thought it would be fun to make this pie with the intention of heightening our earthly passions in following the energy of the moon. I served this with kale sautéed in garlic with avocado and pumpkin seeds. The leafy greens, the root vegetables and the wonderful lamb has a wonderful earthy energy, keeping us grounded. Adding in the circulatory stimulant and anti-inflammatory spices, coupled with the mineral rich lamb and antioxident packed root vegetables we have both a physically and spiritually nourishing dinner.

Spiced Root Vegetable Shepherds Pie

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 500 grams lamb mince
• 1 clove garlic
• 2 teaspoons ginger, grated
• half teaspoon cumin
• half teaspoon coriander
• half teaspoon cinnamon
• 2 teaspoons ras el hanout
• 4 carrots, grated
• 2 beetroot, grated
• handful dried cranberries
• one third cup pistacio nuts , toasted
• 1 tablespoon honey
• one half a lemon, juiced
• 25 grams unsalted butter, melted, cooled
• 1 - 2whole cauliflower

Heat the oil in skillet over medium heat. Add the lamb and cook, breaking with a wooden spoon until browned, about 5 - 6 minutes. Add the garlic, ginger and spices. Season with salt and pepper. After a minute add the grated carrot and beetroot, cranberries, pistachios, honey and lemon juice. Cook, stirring for a few more minutes. When the carrot and beetroot has softened turn off the heat. Preheat oven to 190 deg C.

Steam the chopped cauliflower for about 10 minutes. Remove from heat, places into a bowl with the butter. Mash or puree, whatever you prefer. Spread the cauliflower mash over the lamb mixture, covering completely. Steam the chopped cauliflower for about 10 minutes. Remove from heat, place into a bowl with the butter. Mash or puree, whatever you prefer. Spread the cauliflower mash over the lamb mixture, covering completely.

Place in oven for 35 minutes, until the top is golden. Serve.

We ate this yummy pie all up and I wasn't quite quick enough to capture an image of the finished product in all of her magnificence. Instead I'll leave you with an image of my kitchen altar, see on the circular marble platter below. Here the altar is hanging out on my back deck while I meditated on Saturday afternoon. She came inside for the meal preparation though, and there she stays.

Tea: Chill out and stop worrying / sleep peacefully

When worry and anxiety takes a hold this soothing concoction will calm your nerves. It's also wonderful for aiding the onset of sleep. A good pinch of lavender

A good pinch of chamomile flowers

A good pinch of lemon balm (I used fresh but dry is also available)

Steep for 5 - 10 minutes in hot but not boiling water. Strain and stir with the intention of calm. Inhale the aroma, sip gently.

A love/non-love relationship with tandem feeding...okay mostly non-love

I fell into tandem feeding by accident. Gorgeous little John John, now 3 months old took us by surprise when those two little lines appeared on the pregnancy test. Evie was only 10 months at the time.  

My doctor, my mother, and pretty much everyone else told me to wean. I took their advice on board and fully intended on weaning at least 3 months before the due date. I hadn’t heard of tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn, had never even considered that would be a thing. But there I was with a baby and pregnant with another. I certainly wasn’t ready to stop breastfeeding yet. It seemed unfair to force Evie to wean due to unplanned circumstances. I went searching for nutritional information for pregnancy and breastfeeding concurrently and found none. What I did find was an article about tandem feeding and it seemed to be encouraged. I was relieved. I felt like I had options.

The months passed, Evie never indicated she was ready to give up breastfeeding just yet. Breastfeeding was her downtime, her comfort, her relaxation at the end of a long day. It was quiet time bonding with mummy. Breastfeeding was cuddly and close. We both loved it.

 As the pregnancy progressed my milk supply dwindled. Evie’s interest in feeding gradually declined accordingly. She still enjoyed a feed to get off to sleep, or whenever she was feeling discomfort, or just felt like a snuggle. We got to the stage where Evie didn’t seem to mind if she fed or not. Some nights she’d go off to sleep without feeding at all.

But then at 36 weeks my colostrum was in and Evie, now 18 months, suddenly became booby obsessed. She loved it. The due date got closer and I didn’t mind the breastfeeding so much, I thought it would help bring on labour. I realised it was now too late to wean her. Even if I did wean as soon as she saw her little brother feeding she’d want in.

Evie didn’t come meet John John until he was two days old. I’d been missing her terribly. When she saw me sitting to feed her little brother of course she wanted some too. She hopped up on my knee and grabbed my spare breast. It was a juggle and awkward to feed them both, but we managed. We have some gorgeous photos of the moment.

My earliest memory is of my mother breastfeeding my sister, 20 months younger than me. I wanted some too, but Mum refused. I told myself before John John was born that I wouldn’t do that to my daughter. Unfortunately by the time I’d been home 24 hours I’d rejected Evie’s requests for breastfeeding more times than I could count.

Once home the reality of feeding two children of different ages set in. I was producing milk for a newborn. Yummy fatty deliciously sweet milk and Evie loved it. She wanted boobies all the time. More than was necessary or practical. Sometimes I’ve been sitting down for a long time feeding John John. Sometimes he’s asleep in his bassinet and I can finally do a bit of housework or whatever in the few minutes until he wakes up. Sometimes she just doesn’t need it, and I want some space.  And so the tantrums begin.

Tandem feeding is much harder than I expected, and much harder than any breastfeeding support information page or online mother’s forum let on too. I was managing the newborn, who was as floppy and helpless as a rag doll, trying to balance him one arm, as he learned how to latch properly, and managing my now giant looking toddler Evie on the other arm. She was curious of her brother and had trouble keeping her hands to herself, not yet old enough to understand that she might be hurting the baby, or introducing germs with her poking and prodding. When I put her down after she’d had way over and above what a normal feed was for her to focus on the newborn she screamed the house down, looking at me from the floor with tears in her eyes and shaking her head.. It was a nightmare. I felt tremendous guilt for having another child, and loss that my ‘just us two’ relationship with my daughter had been interrupted.

If only she would eat some food… Food has been given the flick for breastmilk. I’ve been trying to offer foods she likes, and restricting breastfeeding until she’s had a decent meal. She usually doesn’t manage more than a couple of bites. After 7 weeks I was starting worry. I don’t want to deplete her nutritionally. My sore muscles and achy teeth told me the breastfeeding was depleting me. I up my supplement intake. My symptoms improve.

I love breastfeeding my toddler when it’s just us two. We snuggle together and have a little chat and a giggle about our day, eventually she’s had her fill or goes off to sleep.

There’s times when both children are screaming, I sit on the couch, or lie on my bed, give them a boob each and then there’s silence. Sweet wonderful silence for 5 - 10 minutes. I can even hold my phone in my hand and entertain myself during these quiet feeding moments.

My favourite tandem feeding moments though, are when baby John John loses the nipple, and Evie reaches over and guides it back into his mouth for him. It’s the sweetest thing, a sister helping a brother out.  And when John John catches sight of Evie across the other side of my chest and gives her a big gorgeous smile it melts my heart.

Realistically I see no easy way out of tandem feeding in the near future. Sure I can hardline it and cut her off, but she’ll be reminded of the goodness of breastfeeding every time little John John cries out for a meal. It’d be like taking away a smoker’s cigarettes and then lighting up in front of them 8 times a day. But “No - you can’t have any.”

My instinct is that breastfeeding serves her emotional wellbeing. The times when I tell Evie no to boobies she becomes incredibly enraged. I can actually use my boobs as a bribing tool. “Do this for me and you can have some boobies” not that I want to bribe her, but you know, desperate times call for desperate measures.

So I’m feeling stuck with this, waiting for a green light to tuck my boob away for the last time ... as far as the toddlers concerned anyway. I’ve been waiting for this light for about six months now and it’s just not coming. It’s now clear it would have been much easier to wean when my milk supply naturally dropped off during pregnancy…at around 14 or 15 months old. She would have missed it for a few days and then it would all be forgotten about. Now she’s tasted the sweet nectar that is newborn mummy booby goodness, she’s not giving it up in a hurry. It must be like ice-cream, all sweet and fatty.

A new resolve to start a loving-kindness weaning process was shot down a couple of weeks ago by what I initially thought was severe teething with lots of clinginess and boobies required. It soon became apparent it was actually hand, foot and mouth disease making her so miserable. Everything she put in her mouth was hurting and her response was to eat nothing. On day 5 of no food whatsoever breastfeeding had become a true hero, offering not only nutrition, hydration and comfort but an immune boost as well. I was grateful I have such good breastmilk to help her through that week of horrors.

Her health is now restored however and I don’t feel tandem feeding is sustainable. A 21-month old toddler surviving primarily off my breast milk is not healthy for either of us.  I could be waiting months or even a couple of years for her to self-wean.  And so I tentatively embark on a weaning journey. I anticipate lots of struggle, lots of resistance. Many a time when the small baby will be woken and disturbed and resented by a toddler screaming for boobies. It’s going to suck and perhaps be one of the greatest battles of will I’ve ever known. We’ll get there in the end.

This wilderness is now a patch of dirt

Do you like this picture? The enchanted garden behind me is not out in the country somewhere, but instead is a gorgeous little wilderness behind a derelict house in a very suburban part of South Fremantle. It was a corner block, and this wilderness sat behind the house, accessable from the street, unfenced, wild and free. The gorgeously magical and wise peppermint tree was draped in a purple flowered vine and nasturtium. Everything was green, and lush, and breathed. It covered a space perhaps about 8 square metres. And was a beautiful home to birds, insects, reptiles and nature spirits. I passed it almost every day as I walked to the shops.  

The house was recently sold, and vandalised. I remember feeling amused that the vandals chose to vandalise an already derelict and vacant property rather then an occupied one, I thought it showed a conscience that what they are doing is ugly.

Today I walked past this house and it was gone. Demolished, a patch of dirt in it’s wake. Oh bye house, I thought to myself and then I did a double take. Where was my wilderness? I turned the pram around and walked back a bit, just to be sure I was in the right spot, that I wasn’t mistaken. The wilderness was gone, the peppermint tree gone, the nature spirits home a crumbly waste of freshly turned dirt imprinted with the tracks of heavy machinery. There was a couple of metres of vine remaining on the neighbouring fence.

I pulled Evie out of her pram and held her, having a moment, mourning for the tree. The tree that was and is no more. Surely, a tree like that would be worth keeping. It makes me wonder what’s going there instead, not apartments ,surely. If I was building a house I’d want to keep that tree in my backyard.

No whoever purchased that land is going to build something, and make some money, and we have one less beautiful tree to look at. One more cleared patch of Earth.

All the air those vine leaves were cleansing, they cleanse no more. All of the love and wisdom that the ancient tree emanated as it stood firmly gounded in the Earth, is gone. That ancient tree.

Although this was one tiny patch of wilderness on a small piece of ‘private’ land, the removal of this wilderness is a mirror or what is happening the world over. We clear space for our homes and agriculture at huge cost to the health of the planet.

The Earth, cannot come second to immediate financial gain, or a bottom line on next years tax return, this is crazy.

I don’t have the solution, but I have faith that our generation, and the next does. I can lead by example, this is all that I can do.

Plants have vibrations that affect the environment physically with clean air, and metaphysically by being pure examples of love and life. Plants bring positivity, peace and serenity to your space. Who doesn’t love a beautiful garden? Or a forrest of rolling hills, or flowers?

Please plant a tree, or acquire a pot plant for your window ledge, and take time to breathe fresh wonderful air. Feel gratitude for life and oxygen.

I love the Earth.

A conception story ... make the healthiest baby you possibly can

I met my partner at the age of 20, we were drawn to each other like magnets. He moved in with me after four weeks, we were married in three and a half years. Nine years later we’d bought our first house.  

At the time I got married, at 24, I figured I’d want a baby when I was 26. But 26 came and I was far from wanting a baby, and so was Andy.

27, no, still not feeling it. I was having way too much fun, and studying. 28, Babies were far from my mind, I could smell the end of a four-year naturopath degree. 29, we bought a house, I graduated. Babies felt somewhat closer, but I still wanted to get my naturopath feet wet, dip my toes in. Practice my skills. And then I turned 30. It was well and truly time.

I went to a 4 day pregnancy conference just for naturopaths. All about care during pregnancy, all the ways we can help our clients as a health care provider. They drummed into me a four month preconception program is ideal.

Nurture your eggs and your partners sperm, make the healthiest baby possible by getting your body and hormones in perfect working order.

Get rid of toxins, bad habits, anything that’s not whole and pure.

Go to yoga,

meditate,

Exercise,

Eat like a health queen.

First there was a detox. I started a six week detox on my own accord. I cut out all that was bad for me, but I kept losing motivation, falling of the wagon. I also had my inner party girl begging to be let out for a last hoorah before motherhood began, to kick up my heels and celebrate my freedom and youth. I got my 23-year-old sister over from Victoria to stay with me for a week so I could pretend to be 23 again. It was awesome.

She came and went, and I knew I had to get serious, and I couldn’t do it on my own. I didn’t want to waste any more time. I enlisted the help of Naturopath Cassandra Boylen, to set me on my path. Having her to hold me accountable was exactly what I needed.

She put me on some detox herbs and supplements. She gave me a diet plan, recipe ideas. I did swimmingly, much better then I was doing as a solo detoxer.

I did have one or two ‘educated’ slip ups, a couple of glasses of champagne on week four for a friend’s birthday. Its what you do most of the time that counts.

I was also taking supplements including probiotics, an antenatal multivitamin. I took Iron and vitamin D supplements after a blood test came back low.

The idea was to get my body in as prime condition for conceiving a beautiful healthy child. All nutrients topped up, hormones primed and ready to go. I also began eating meat after 11 years of vegetarianism. This is because good grass fed meat is packed with all the key nutrients you need for baby making, including B6, B12, zinc, Iron, essential fatty acids, saturated fats and high quality protein. And my iron levels were already on the low side. I intuitively felt that if my body was getting everything it needed, then baby making would be a breeze.

I was healthy in the first place. I could have been exercising a little more, but I’d been a diligent exerciser for most of my twenties. I’d been a super healthy eater for years. My one foible is that I’d regularly indulged in too much wine, and this was one of the major reasons I wanted the detox and preconception care. I wanted to heal as much damage as possible.

In order to make a baby you need a reproductive system that does what it's supposed to. I’ve been fortunate in that my reproductive system has always been reasonably balanced. I hadn’t taken any pharmaceutical contraception since I was 22, preferring to use natural contraception instead (ie I tracked my cycle and avoided sperm while ovulating). I’d noticed since turning 29 my cycle had lengthened by a day or two, and often I experienced a 29 or even 30 day cycle. This bothered me a bit as it meant things had changed, and were not as they were in younger years.

There's plenty that can be done with reproductive disorders such as PCOS and endometriosis. Please don't despair if you experience these or other reproductive issues, be proactive, think positive and please speak to a health care provider to get help.

Once or twice a year I would get crippling menstrual cramps or bouts of pre-menstrual depression, but I noticed these often followed a particularly boozy – coffee filled month. But mostly, my cycle was regular and dependable, an old friend.

I tried to get Andy on board with the preconception too. He’s not a big drinker, he eat’s reasonably well and has long given up smoking. However he is 46 years old (to my 30 years at the time of conception) and has a stressful job. I got him some special healthy sperm supplements, and nag as I might he didn’t take them.

When and if we go for round two the healthy sperm supplements will be non-negotiable however. Having the healthiest child possible is a no-brainer, why would’t you do everything possible to give your bubba the best start?

In my pre-conception phase I treated my body mostly like the temple it deserved to be. No one is perfect all the time, and it’s no use beating your self up for the odd mishap.

Truth be told, I didn’t manage to last the four months of preconception care. I was about at the three-month mark and I spent the week leading up to ovulation with an aching overwhelming urge to try for a baby. So we did, and little Evie (yes I named my unborn child when she was at about 8 weeks gestation) was conceived the first time we tried. She was meant to be, it was her perfect time to come into existence.

And there she was, just like that.     

baby evie at 12 weeks

It’s hard to know how much the preconception care helped, because we had never tried for a baby before, so I have nothing to compare it to. What is definite is that we had absolutely no trouble conceiving a perfectly formed child, and for this I am unendingly indescribably grateful.

I feel the pre-conception preparation invited a healthy pregnancy not only physically but spiritually and mentally. All of these aspects are important for welcoming a new little being into your life.

It also brought me piece of mind, knowing I did my best to give my baby a nourishing environment in which to implant and grow.

The key health points to take away from my preconception experience are

• Know your body. Understand your cycle and recognise when you’re ovulating. Ideally sperm should be ‘introduced’ about a day before you ovulate.

• Your body is a temple, a healthy age-appropriate body will happily reproduce… You are biologically wired to reproduce. So relax and give your body what it needs. A naturopath can assess your diet and arrange testing to correct any nutritional deficiencies.

• A pre-conception care program gives you solid guidelines to get into tip-top shape for conceiving. This is important for everyone but especially important if you have a history of food intolerances, IBS, auto-immune disease, and hormonal or reproductive imbalance.

• It takes two to make a baby, so two people should be engaging in pre-conception care to ensure the best start.

Photo credit: Hannah Jones of Keeper Creative