This is a great example of how chemicals in many household cleaning and personal care products are assumed safe until proven harmful, when perhaps they should be assumed harmful until proven safe.
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Ovulatory infertility accounts for about 25% of all infertility cases. This is when ovulation fails to occur or occurs irregularly and is most common in women experiencing Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome aka PCOS. A 2008 study* that followed 18555 women over 8 years found that the more meat in the diet, the greater the incidence of ovulatory infertility. And further, women who ate mainly vegetarian sources of protein where half as likely to have fertility issues as their meat eating counterparts. The authors concluded that focusing on mainly vegetarian sources of protein may enhance fertility.
I don’t think we should use this as a basis to completely toss all animal meats during preconception for most people. Organic, grass fed meat is an excellent source of essential minerals and fats that you need when making a baby, and traditional chinese medicine recommends building the blood with animal meats when wanting to conceive - albeit meat was much rarer for most of the world’s population in the past due to expense and availability, and so wasn’t consumed every day and at most meals, like it commonly is nowadays. Everybody would do well to have a couple of vegetarian days per week.
Conversely if you would like to continue your preconception and pregnancy journey as a vegetarian, all the power to you, you can absolutely do this with excellent nutrition and health.
There’s a few issues that may have impacted the results of this study. People with vegetarian diets tend to eat a wider variety of plant foods overall and therefore tend to enjoy better health. Those that eat a lot of meat are not only consuming less vegetables, but are perhaps more likely to be consuming fast and convenience foods such as from the local takeout, rich in unhealthy fats that contribute to inflammation and your glycemic index. The diet data was collected via survey four years prior to the study’s conclusion, so there’s plenty of time for individual diet choices to change and more rigorous and thorough study is required to clarify the results.
However, the association with meat eating and ovulatory infertility was significant so it’s worth considering. It was found that high intakes of chicken and turkey had the biggest association with ovulatory infertility, and red meat to a lesser extent. Eggs and fish didn’t have a negative effect. Consuming foods rich in vegetable protein had a slightly positive effect however. Vegetarians who ate more carbohydrates and less vegetarian protein also had higher incidence of ovulatory infertility. The consumption of good quality vegetarian protein seemed to be the ticket. And importantly, the positive effects of eating vegetable protein and negative effects of eating animal protein was more prominent in women over the age of 32. For younger women the types of protein didn’t seem to have an effect.
As always, moderation is key. This study is saying that with women who exhibit problems with ovulation - which was only 20% of the entire 18555 person study, meat eating tends to make it worse. It’s not saying that meat makes everyone infertile. If you are planning on a pregnancy and are otherwise in excellent health, 1 – 4 serves of red or white meat a week is completely fine and nothing to stress about.
If you would like support on your preconception journey you can book in for a discovery call here. If you have been diagnosed as PCOS or see to have irregular periods, there is so much naturopathy can do to relieve your symptoms so please seek assistance.
*Chavarro, J. E. et al. (2008) ‘Protein intake and ovulatory infertility’, American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 198(2). doi: 10.1016/j.ajog.2007.06.057.
Plastics, and in particular BPA, build up in your system and can affect your fertility. The good news is that studies have shown that by reducing exposure, the amount of BPA in your system decreases significantly, and other kinds of plastics will likely reduce also.
Head to your kitchen. Many kitchen utensils are made of plastics that break down when exposed to heat - directly into your food, and this is what you want to avoid.
Replace all the following items with ceramic, glass or metal.
Reusable food storage containers - Ikea have some fabulous glass containers with timber lids
Microwave safe bowls (don’t put plastic in the microwave all together)
Reusable plastic water bottles and cups
Plastic tea kettles
Colanders
Blender containers that have been used with hot soups
Although many plastic kitchen items in store are labelled BPA free, often the manufacturers have replaced BPA with a similar compound such as BPS that isn’t as well researched and may be just as damaging. In our society, until plastics are proven unsafe they are assumed safe. Perhaps they are, but then, asbestos was once assumed safe also, and with substances such as BPA proven to adversely affect fertility, it’s wise to err on the side of caution. The Handmaids Tale comes to mind (eep).
The plastics used for bottled water and food products on the supermarket shelf do not contain endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDC’s - the fertility damaging components of plastics) and you don’t need to stress as much about it. Reduce where you can and only drink bottled water when absolutely necessary. Tinned foods are more problematic than other shelf foods as the cans are lined with plastics. Although some are labelled BPA free, there’s no way to know what the replacement lining is, and whether it’s benign or not. In particular it’s important to avoid tinned tomatoes, as these are quite acidic and are therefore much better at leeching fertility damaging plastics into their juices. It’s easy enough to dice up your own tomatoes thankfully. Try and use fresh foods instead or products jarred in glass.
While preparing to conceive, ideally, you’ll be focusing on whole foods prepared from fresh ingredients and steering clear of processed foods. Not only are processed foods more likely to contain EDC’s, they’re also more inflammatory and overloaded with bad fats, sugar and salt. You need a rainbow banquet of fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, protein and wholegrain to nourish your body and optimise your maturing eggs and sperm, so shopping at the farmers market for fresh produce and bulk food stores for nuts, dried beans and grains is not only better for the environment, but better for your future baby as well.
Gorgeous baby image via upworthy.
We’re nearly at the end of plastic free July, but saving the planet isn’t the only reason to get rid of plastic. Many, if not most, plastics out there have some form of endocrine disrupting chemicals (ie, they mess with your hormones and normal bodily function) or persistent chemicals that hang out in your fat cells forever. In fact, in one analysis, 500 plastic products labelled ‘BPA free’ were analysed for endocrine disrupting chemicals. 90% were determined to contain endocrine disrupting chemicals and in some cases at higher and more damaging levels than BPA itself.*
Whenever plastic is heated, frozen or exposed to the elements in any way it breaks down in tiny amounts and you end up ingesting it, such as from water bottles and take away containers, from water pipes in the ground, or through your skin from creams and cosmetics.
Further to this, during pregnancy and breastfeeding your body will dump any plastic residues from your tissues into your baby while in utero and into breastmilk while breastfeeding. Alarmingly, pregnancy and lactation are the most efficient way for your body to detox these nasties - straight into your baby. Little is known on how much these chemicals affect the developing foetus however animals studies indicate there is a measurable negative effect on gene expression and health of the foetus as she grows to adulthood.
I’m not here to alarm, don’t panic. Your body is wise and brilliant and can overcome these hurdles. For example getting plenty of folate in the diet has been shown to negate the negative effects of BPA. So there’s ways around it! But please be wary and reduce usage of plastic products now.
If you’re planning on starting a family, it’s wise to consider a full detox program approximately 6 to 8 months prior to first trying to conceive, especially if you have been exposed to a higher level of environmental toxins through your work, lifestyle and living environment. A detox takes approximately four to six weeks, and then you can start a preconception care program of approximately four months. You want as many nasties eliminated from your system as possible before starting your conception journey.
*BPA has been proven to significantly disrupt fertility. Women with high levels of BPA are 87% more likely to suffer a miscarriage than women with low levels of BPA.
With a global pandemic and winter upon us (here in Perth), this is an anxious time for everyone but especially for those of us due to give birth in the coming months. I love herbal medicine for protection from illness and immune support however not all herbs are proven safe in pregnancy - so what to do to nurture your health and immune defences while pregnant?
Pregnancy takes more nutrients out of you than any other time in your life - except breastfeeding, which takes more. In classical chinese medicine it is said that pregnancy depletes jing- life force - due to this very nutritionally taxing time.
If you’re low on certain nutrients your natural immune defences may be reduced leaving you more susceptible to succumbing to illness or suffering a longer duration of infection.
Eating lots of wholesome, clean and fresh foods is the best response. Think the rainbow of vegetables and fruits, whole milk, whole grains, avoid flour based foods, deep fried foods, overly refined foods (chips, milk chocolate, lollies) Get as much nutrition as possible into your day, and leave out foods that are inflammatory and drain your energy to digest them. this means no overeating, not too much sugar, you know right from wrong.
Our culinary herbs containing rosmarinic acid are have wonderful immune boosting properties, these include rosemary, thyme, lemon balm, sage and oregano. These are all delicious in soups and stews so add plenty to your meals. Lemon balm is lovely as a tea, is easy to grow, and also calms your nerves and helps you off to sleep. Enhance your connection to the herbs by thanking the plants for helping protect you against illness as you sprinkle them into your dinner.
IF you are nutrient deplete, supplements are a good way to build up your reserves again. Iron is commonly depleted during pregnancy so get your levels checked and ensure you’ve got good reserves. Zinc, B vitamins and other micro-minerals are important and a good pregnancy multi-vitamin will ensure you get adequate levels of these in combination with a nutritious diet.
Plant Medicines can help you
Not all herbs are deemed safe in pregnancy however there are plenty of herbs that can be used to help you get over an infection, prevent a virus from doing serious damage, or to boost immunity beforehand. Echinacea builds up the immune system and staves off colds and flus, and has been proved quite safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding. Elder flower is beautiful and nurturing, as well as delicious. Astragalus and Baical skullcap are especially supportive against Coronaviruses and are both quite safe in pregnancy. I recommend chatting with a qualified herbalist for specific doses.
And Sleep.
Personally for me, pregnancy was the only time in my life when I would crash as soon as my head hit the pillow and slumber all night long - until the very last weeks when my belly got in the way. Melatonin is produced at night time and especially while we sleep. Melatonin is also one of the best defences we have against the Coronavirus sweeping the globe right now. This powerful antioxidant repairs and prevents damage caused by the virus and researchers are investigating the possibility of using supplemental melatonin in treating Covid-19 patients in hospital. You can boost your natural reserves by getting up just after sunrise, spending a good amount of time outside during the day (and boosting your vitamin D levels - another important immune defence nutrient) and making sure you turn off screens an hour before bed and have some wind down time.
Also every hour of sleep you get before midnight is worth twice as much as the sleep you get after midnight. I find for me, lights out at 10pm is optimal, and I’m a night owl, so lights out earlier as you wish.
Have you heard of epigenetics?
You may have a genetic pre-disposition to a range of conditions.
But not all genes are expressed automatically.
Your lifestyle affects whether genes are expressed or not. So for example you may have a gene for varicose veins. Your mother and grandmother each developed varicose veins from an early age. You may also have the gene, but with the right diet and exercise the gene may not be expressed at all or until much later in life.
With optimal health during the preconception phase when the egg and sperm are developing, the healthiest genes possible will be passed on to the new baby.
If you’re interested in becoming pregnant soon I’m currently putting together an online course to make the pre-conception care journey as simple as possible for you. You can sign up for updates here through this link, and score a free digital download on ovulation while you’re at it.
Wishing you well,
Libby
Th story of how BPA (bisphenol A)was discovered to contribute to infertility is an interesting one. It was August 1998 and a research group at Case Western Reserve University were studying egg development in mice. Suddenly, seemingly overnight, there was a dramatic increase in chromosomally abnormal eggs - that is eggs that won’t produce a healthy, living baby. Until this point 1-2% of the mouse eggs where chromosomally abnormal, but that jumped to 40% all of a sudden. After a thorough investigation the researchers discovered that BPA had been leaching out of the plastic cages and water bottles after being washed in detergent. Once all the damaged plastic cages and water bottles where replaced, the rate of eggs with chromosomal errors returned to normal.
It’s difficult to avoid all BPA as it’s present in many everyday items such as packaging and paper receipts from the store. The good news is minimising your exposure will go a long way to reducing the risk of BPA affecting your fertility. In several studies on women undergoing IVF it was found that those with the highest levels of measurable BPA in their blood had more abnormal eggs, and less eggs that successfully fertilised and developed than women with lower levels of BPA. Women with higher levels of BPA also suffered more miscarriages.
However it was found that eating 400mg of natural folate from your diet daily - from foods such as leafy greens, brassica vegetables and lentils pretty much cancelled out any negative impact of BPA.
The point is don’t stress about being exposed to BPA, but make moves to reduce it. Don’t drink out of plastic water bottles. Don’t eat out of plastic containers and especially don’t heat food in plastic containers. A lot of tinned foods are largelyly BPA free however many companies are replacing BPA with similar chemicals such as BPS and BPF.
I love it when the whole family savours their dinner because it’s so damn delicious and satisfying. With a couple of picky eaters in the house nothing quite beats the sound of kids quietly slurping their dinner.
This one’s a winner with kids, husbands and wives alike. I used regular sausages to appease the toddlers but feel free to experiment with chorizo or other kinds if your household is less fussy.
Note: I did NOT let my kids eat off my new fancy plates
4 - 6 fresh sausages
1 brown onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 large carrot, diced
2 celery stalks, diced
2 bay leaves
1 sprig rosemary
2 x 400g cans tomatos
2 cups beef bone broth or 2 cups regular stock with 1 tbs powdered beef broth (I like nutraorganics)
4 - 6 big leaves of kale
Buffalo mozzarella and basil to serve
Place a dash of olive oil in a skillet on medium to high heat and cook sausages, turning frequently until brown and cooked through. Remove from heat.
Meanwhile, pour a couple of tablespoons of olive oil into your soup pot, also on medium to high heat and slice the onion and add to the soup pot. Once browned, add the sliced, garlic, carrot and celery. Sautés for a few more minutes until the vegetables have softened.
Pour in the bone broth/or stock and bone broth powder. Season with a good pinch of salt. Add in the tomatoes, rosemary and bay leaves and bring to the boil. Simmer for 10 minutes.
Wash the kale leaves, tear into pieces a couple of cm across and add to the soup pot. Slice the sausages into bite size rounds and add to the soup also. Simmer until the kale wilts and the sausages are heated through. Turn off heat.
Serve into bowls and top with torn mozzarella, basil and parsley if desired. Season to taste.
Note: I served this up with melted cheese on toast for my kids which worked really well. If you like you could place some day old sourdough in the bottom of your serving bowls before ladling soup on top for a traditional style ribollita.
It’s national fertility week. Here’s a shout out to the women and couples with heartbreak.
For the terrible two week wait. Where you wait and hope and believe “this is my month” but then your period arrives, just like all the other times. Your heart sinks.
When you’re not sure when you ovulate, and the performance anxiety that comes with the pressure.
Taking yet another pregnancy test. Negative.
For the losses, all the devastating losses.
For the expense, those fucking needles. The hope. The disappointment.
The well meaning acquaintances who ask “when are you having kids”
the friends that get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Infertility is shitty. x
Sending love.
This is great to spark your innate creativity or a wonderfully relaxing exercise when trying to conceive.
Lie or sit comfortably
Place your palms on your wombspace
Shut your eyes and breath deeply in through the now and out through the mouth
Feel your belly rise and fall. Let thoughts pass through your mind, keep coming back to your breath.
Visualise breathing the colour orange into your womb.
Continue for as long as you like, but try for at least three minutes to start. The more you stay with this exercise the better you will feel at the end. Much love.
I fell into tandem feeding by accident. Gorgeous little John John, now 3 months old took us by surprise when those two little lines appeared on the pregnancy test. Evie was only 10 months at the time.
My doctor, my mother, and pretty much everyone else told me to wean. I took their advice on board and fully intended on weaning at least 3 months before the due date. I hadn’t heard of tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn, had never even considered that would be a thing. But there I was with a baby and pregnant with another. I certainly wasn’t ready to stop breastfeeding yet. It seemed unfair to force Evie to wean due to unplanned circumstances. I went searching for nutritional information for pregnancy and breastfeeding concurrently and found none. What I did find was an article about tandem feeding and it seemed to be encouraged. I was relieved. I felt like I had options.
The months passed, Evie never indicated she was ready to give up breastfeeding just yet. Breastfeeding was her downtime, her comfort, her relaxation at the end of a long day. It was quiet time bonding with mummy. Breastfeeding was cuddly and close. We both loved it.
As the pregnancy progressed my milk supply dwindled. Evie’s interest in feeding gradually declined accordingly. She still enjoyed a feed to get off to sleep, or whenever she was feeling discomfort, or just felt like a snuggle. We got to the stage where Evie didn’t seem to mind if she fed or not. Some nights she’d go off to sleep without feeding at all.
But then at 36 weeks my colostrum was in and Evie, now 18 months, suddenly became booby obsessed. She loved it. The due date got closer and I didn’t mind the breastfeeding so much, I thought it would help bring on labour. I realised it was now too late to wean her. Even if I did wean as soon as she saw her little brother feeding she’d want in.
Evie didn’t come meet John John until he was two days old. I’d been missing her terribly. When she saw me sitting to feed her little brother of course she wanted some too. She hopped up on my knee and grabbed my spare breast. It was a juggle and awkward to feed them both, but we managed. We have some gorgeous photos of the moment.
My earliest memory is of my mother breastfeeding my sister, 20 months younger than me. I wanted some too, but Mum refused. I told myself before John John was born that I wouldn’t do that to my daughter. Unfortunately by the time I’d been home 24 hours I’d rejected Evie’s requests for breastfeeding more times than I could count.
Once home the reality of feeding two children of different ages set in. I was producing milk for a newborn. Yummy fatty deliciously sweet milk and Evie loved it. She wanted boobies all the time. More than was necessary or practical. Sometimes I’ve been sitting down for a long time feeding John John. Sometimes he’s asleep in his bassinet and I can finally do a bit of housework or whatever in the few minutes until he wakes up. Sometimes she just doesn’t need it, and I want some space. And so the tantrums begin.
Tandem feeding is much harder than I expected, and much harder than any breastfeeding support information page or online mother’s forum let on too. I was managing the newborn, who was as floppy and helpless as a rag doll, trying to balance him one arm, as he learned how to latch properly, and managing my now giant looking toddler Evie on the other arm. She was curious of her brother and had trouble keeping her hands to herself, not yet old enough to understand that she might be hurting the baby, or introducing germs with her poking and prodding. When I put her down after she’d had way over and above what a normal feed was for her to focus on the newborn she screamed the house down, looking at me from the floor with tears in her eyes and shaking her head.. It was a nightmare. I felt tremendous guilt for having another child, and loss that my ‘just us two’ relationship with my daughter had been interrupted.
If only she would eat some food… Food has been given the flick for breastmilk. I’ve been trying to offer foods she likes, and restricting breastfeeding until she’s had a decent meal. She usually doesn’t manage more than a couple of bites. After 7 weeks I was starting worry. I don’t want to deplete her nutritionally. My sore muscles and achy teeth told me the breastfeeding was depleting me. I up my supplement intake. My symptoms improve.
I love breastfeeding my toddler when it’s just us two. We snuggle together and have a little chat and a giggle about our day, eventually she’s had her fill or goes off to sleep.
There’s times when both children are screaming, I sit on the couch, or lie on my bed, give them a boob each and then there’s silence. Sweet wonderful silence for 5 - 10 minutes. I can even hold my phone in my hand and entertain myself during these quiet feeding moments.
My favourite tandem feeding moments though, are when baby John John loses the nipple, and Evie reaches over and guides it back into his mouth for him. It’s the sweetest thing, a sister helping a brother out. And when John John catches sight of Evie across the other side of my chest and gives her a big gorgeous smile it melts my heart.
Realistically I see no easy way out of tandem feeding in the near future. Sure I can hardline it and cut her off, but she’ll be reminded of the goodness of breastfeeding every time little John John cries out for a meal. It’d be like taking away a smoker’s cigarettes and then lighting up in front of them 8 times a day. But “No - you can’t have any.”
My instinct is that breastfeeding serves her emotional wellbeing. The times when I tell Evie no to boobies she becomes incredibly enraged. I can actually use my boobs as a bribing tool. “Do this for me and you can have some boobies” not that I want to bribe her, but you know, desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I’m feeling stuck with this, waiting for a green light to tuck my boob away for the last time ... as far as the toddlers concerned anyway. I’ve been waiting for this light for about six months now and it’s just not coming. It’s now clear it would have been much easier to wean when my milk supply naturally dropped off during pregnancy…at around 14 or 15 months old. She would have missed it for a few days and then it would all be forgotten about. Now she’s tasted the sweet nectar that is newborn mummy booby goodness, she’s not giving it up in a hurry. It must be like ice-cream, all sweet and fatty.
A new resolve to start a loving-kindness weaning process was shot down a couple of weeks ago by what I initially thought was severe teething with lots of clinginess and boobies required. It soon became apparent it was actually hand, foot and mouth disease making her so miserable. Everything she put in her mouth was hurting and her response was to eat nothing. On day 5 of no food whatsoever breastfeeding had become a true hero, offering not only nutrition, hydration and comfort but an immune boost as well. I was grateful I have such good breastmilk to help her through that week of horrors.
Her health is now restored however and I don’t feel tandem feeding is sustainable. A 21-month old toddler surviving primarily off my breast milk is not healthy for either of us. I could be waiting months or even a couple of years for her to self-wean. And so I tentatively embark on a weaning journey. I anticipate lots of struggle, lots of resistance. Many a time when the small baby will be woken and disturbed and resented by a toddler screaming for boobies. It’s going to suck and perhaps be one of the greatest battles of will I’ve ever known. We’ll get there in the end.
The Sunday before last: John John was a week home from the hospital. Home life had been resembling somewhat of a shit storm (sibling rivalry was large). It was midday and both the children slept, and I took the opportunity to contemplate the new moon that was two days prior. I went outside and managed to arrange an impromptu altar with a rose quartz crystal, a candle, oracle cards and some closed eyes. It was heaven.
I pulled a card: Be The Hunter Not the Hunted (Sacred Rebels Oracle, Alana Fairchild)
The crux of the message: Don’t let the needs of others get in the way of your own journey and self-care. This message was so relevant, so needed at that time, so needed EVERY DAY as a mother. When Evie was born I lost myself for months, understandably. She was so new, I was anxious. I didn’t even use a day planner or make any to do lists for half a year. Her priorities and needs were number one of course, the rest of the world, including me could wait. That was my choice.
With John John things are much quieter. I’m taking the new baby in my stride. My to do’s are getting done. My day planner utilised. I’ve got this. I’m inspired.
I see opportunity to create and contribute. Self-expression and indulgence seem possible whereas with Evie it was almost unimaginable. As a first time mother I was shocked at the lack of time I had to myself. It took a while to adjust.
In contrast, now I accept that there is no time. I haven’t meditated since I gave birth and I’m totally ok with that. In accepting this situation of mothering two very young children means accepting their constant needs, interruptions and interaction. And in amidst this unrelenting noise and whirlwind of childcare the moments of peace and space to myself become more noticeable when they arise.
So I commit to staying present and enjoy these freedoms when they come up. To remembering who I am by doing stuff I love, reading stuff I like and grooming myself to a standard that makes me feel good. By asking for help when I need it and offering help when I can give it. Yeah mummy-hood, bring it on.
And when it gets really hard, I try to remember: With the biggest challenges comes the opportunity for the biggest lessons and potential for incredible growth both spiritually and creatively. Phew.
My belly grows bigger by the day. Nursing my 17 month old on my lap has officially become uncomfortable most of the time. The weeks rush forward and my new baby will be born not quite a month after Christmas.
Preparation for this second baby is different from last time. A first baby is a luxury of endless hours devoted to daydreaming, rubbing your belly and connecting with your unborn. I'm finding this second pregnancy occupied with the care of my first, a chatty little toddler now but still very much in need of mummy for most of the day, and very much my focus.
Experience is both a blessing and a curse. Leading up to Evie's birth I was positive, informed and confident. Leading up to this one I’ve been hopeful, brave, but admittedly, terrified. Choosing not to focus on the terror I’ve been ignoring it. I’ve collected a couple of resources to help ‘psych myself up’ for the impending labour and birth but have yet to read them. There’s a few gremlins hanging out from my last labour experience that I’d rather not think about.
Last week in my women circle* I was introduced to the energy of Pachamama, an ancient Andean fertility Goddess who presides over planting, harvests, mountains and causes Earthquakes when she’s pissed. A Goddess I was unfamiliar with, but like Gaia, with Earth Mother as her description, I got the vibe.
I lay down and was led through a meditation, an invocation of Pachamama, Mother Earth. With an ethereal steel drumbeat in the background, random thoughts flitted through my mind. After a time I felt the Earth Mother in me. I saw myself in the forest, rock walls and greenery and trees surround. I was giving birth, trusting my body, trusting the process. I had this. I knew exactly what to do. And I was not alone. Bearing down, I had the support of millions of women before me who had laboured. They were all there standing behind Pachamama, who was holding my hand. She was squatting down next to me as I squatted, helping me deliver my child. This was the mothers path: Holding the beautiful, breathing, heart-beating child in my arms. The one that I had birthed.
Afterwards, once the drumming had subsided and we returned back to the present, I was a new woman. I had courage in my heart. Real courage, confidence and honour for my body. This was going to be ok. I could do this, of course I could birth this child. My perception had changed to see that I could go into this labour with trust in my heart. I so desperately needed that trust. In connecting to my inner Mother Earth I’ve witnessed trust in my body and the process of childbirth. And if there’s any trouble I have a frekking private obstetrician and the wonderful midwives at Murdoch SJOG to help me out. And drugs. I have the option of drugs IF I need them. Most importantly though, I have the Earth Mother, inside of me, as we all do, and she’s all over it. Thank Goddess I found her.
Artwork Pachamamita by Loreto Contreras Herrera
My first pregnancy was a much loved and wanted experience. I wanted my baby Evie so badly that my pregnancy, although progressing perfectly, was often fraught with anxiety that something might go wrong.
I’d been participating regularly in a pregnancy forum and read all kinds of horror stories. I was anxious despite not having ever had a miscarriage, despite perfect blood pressure and a baby that was growing at exactly the rate expected for dates.
And then at 34 weeks at my ob appointment, it became apparent that my baby had barely grown in the last two weeks. Barely at all. My perfect pregnancy and my perfectly healthy baby were suddenly in jeopardy. The doctor checked blood flow to the placenta and although that seemed ok, she still seemed concerned, she referred me for an ultrasound. I fought back tears as I left the office and paid the account at the reception desk. The rest of the day I was unable to do anything except lie on the couch and google small birthweight babies. Friends and relatives told me not to worry, that maybe she was just small. That’s what I felt too. I tried tuning in to the little mystery in my womb and she told me
not to worry Mum
.
I tried not worry too but I couldn’t help it.
My baby shower the following weekend was fun until as the last guest was leaving it occurred to me that I hadn’t felt the baby move for
hours.
Panic set in. I sat on the couch wondering if I should make the trip to emergency, hands on tummy, beside myself in worry. And then a movement, and another. I could relax again. Sort of.
The ultrasound showed a healthy baby with healthy blood flow. By the next appointment at 36 weeks she had grown the expected amount for the time frame, but had now dropped from 50th percentile to 10th percentile because of the lost two weeks. Weekly appointments from there on in showed consistent growth.
I attended a pre-natal intensive with a local doula and midwife. She spoke of how she breathed out her last two babies and instilled in me a firm belief that I could have this perfect drug free birth. I identified as one of those chicks, the ones that have spiritual and drug free home births, use doulas and experience orgasmic labours, even though I was using an obstetrician and a private hospital, and my husband didn’t like the idea of a doula at the birth. He wanted it to be just us two. My mother had five babies, drug free. My younger sister had two babies drug free. I was going to do this as close to nature as possible. I had this.
Pregnant, my birth story
I started acupuncture to help with a timely and well positioned birth. I’d been practicing maternity yoga. I started a little part-prep herbal to bring on a timely labour. I’d been attached to my babies due date, the 21 June. A solstice birthday like mine, the 21 December. I loved that my baby was due on the opposite solstice, it felt so right, we were meant to be.
My doctor suggested an induction at 39.5 weeks. She thought it was the best option as because now my baby was small there was greater risk. My heart sank. I’d imagined going into labour at home, having a lovely relaxing bath, woman-powering through contractions and not going into the hospital before I was well on my way to being fully dilated. Once there I would breathe the baby out unmedicated and high on labour love.
I asked why? She said that there was a greater risk of stillbirth (horror) with small babies allowed to gestate longer then the due date. This was too much for my already anxious mind. She was the expert after all. I couldn’t bare to wait out what could be a labour that was two weeks late, freaking out that my baby would be born dead.
I asked if we could wait for the due date. Falling on a Sunday, the doctor agreed I would come in Sunday night for examination, and then be induced on the Monday morning of the 22.
I’m not really an astrology kind of girl but heres another thing that bothered me about inductions: Because her due date was the 21st on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. Had I have chosen to induce on at the 39 weeks my doctor initially suggested I would have made her a Gemini. No I couldn’t do that, I had to let the Gemini ship sail before any inductions were going to take place. Besides, I wanted her to be a solstice baby, like me.
I was quietly confident I would go into labour naturally anyway and she would be born on her due date, the 21 June. I was doing all the things. Acupuncture, bouncing up and down on the bouncy ball. I had my herbal, I was meditating, doing yoga, taking ridiculously long walks even though I had a pain in my hip with each step from 37 weeks. I was rubbing clary sage on my belly. I created and practiced ritual for a healthy timely birth. I’d read JuJu’s Sundin’s book 'Birth skills' about the art of distracting oneself from the physical pain of labour and had created a birth poster with affirmations and images of flowers opening to aid me in the birth.
The Friday two days prior to the due date rolled around. Slowly. I went for my last acupuncture appointment - my practitioner didn’t work on Saturdays. I felt it wouldn’t be enough. I made a final appointment for Saturday morning with another acupuncturist closer to home. I was determined to go into labour.
We went out to dinner, Andy and I, that Saturday night. We had a delicious cosy meal by a roaring open fireplace with the weather wild and wooly outside. we were home by 8.00pm and in bed not long after. I fell asleep lying on a towel in case my water broke, expecting to be awoken by contractions in the wee hours of the morning.
My birth story
When I woke up to daylight streaming through my window I was terribly disappointed I hadn’t gone into labour the night before. In retrospect I should have been happily lazing in bed taking in the wonder of being able to sleep a whole night without interruption and wake up at leisure. A luxury that I still have not yet managed to experience almost 14 months later.
I was booked into hospital for 4.30 that afternoon. The time rolled around without so much of a hint of impending labour. We packed our bags in the car, weather still wet and wild. Nature was well and truly reflecting the changes that were taking place in our lives that day. I didn’t really believe I would go through with the induction. I thought I’d find the strength and clarity to back out at the last minute. Andy and I drove to hospital, it was just us, like it always had been, for the past 11 years we’d been together. It didn’t feel like I’d be returning home with a baby. We hadn’t even picked up a the baby capsule yet.
A beautiful statue of the Virgin Mary was presiding over the end of the reception desk at the birth ward and I was immediately comforted. I took a photo of her.
Virgin Mary
Another patient had arrived with her husband and was first in line to be served. She had bags and bags of stuff at her feet. The Reception nurse wasn’t able to find her induction booking. We all stood around in shifty silence. What kind of operation were they running here? A call to her doctor confirmed she was meant to be there.
Then my turn. Thankfully they were expecting me. They took me straight to a labour suite, with a single cold bed, plenty of medical equipment and a teeny awkwardly placed television. I lay on the bed and waited for my doctor to see me. Being Sunday night she had brought her baby into work with her, a giant 10 month old baby. Of course the baby was not literally giant, just average I’m sure, but even a 12 week old baby looks huge to a first time pregnant mother. She was a giant looking baby.
The doctor checked my cervix while the baby was minded out of the room. Hard and closed. It was a strong one.
She explained that they would use a prostaglandin gel to soften my cervix overnight and I would be induced in the morning. After the doctor left I started to cry.
I explained the the midwife that I hadn’t wanted an induction.
There was no inner strength rising up to say STOP! I will have a natural birth.
Instead of a beautifully orchestrated miracle of nature playing it’s symphony as I birthed my baby into the world, I was lying on a cold hard bed having my completely inactive vagina and hard cervix prodded with cold hands and looking at a medical induction.
So why not an induction
It would hurt more
the cascade of intervention - one thing leads to another and a c-section is all the more likely.
The syntocinon would interfere with the natural hormonal cascade of childbirth, including restricting the natural pain killer oxytocin that also creates the falling in love euphoria experienced once the child is birthed. I didn’t want to interfere with this natural miracle.
Yet here I was, interfering. The gel was applied.
Unable to hold back the tears, a midwife coming in to check on me asked what was wrong. I told her I didn’t want to have an induction and she went to find the obstetrician.
My doctor came in.
Don’t be sad
, she said.
You’ll have your baby tomorrow. This is a happy time. You should be excited.
Next thing I had been served dinner. My husband hung out for not very long. Leaving to go home to Sunday night television and his own bed. I tried to watch TV, and scrolled Facebook on my phone. Started to feel mild contractions at about 8.00. They came regularly, perhaps every half an hour at first. I managed to fall asleep by 11pm but was awake by 1pm as the contractions were getting stronger. By 3.30 labour was definitely in full swing. I called Andy. “it’s happening babe. He arrived, we were both wildly excited. Pacing around the room, bouncing up and down on the fit ball. Trying out yoga stretches. Focusing on my affirmations.
Birth poster with affirmations
As they do, the contractions got more and more intense. I tried the shower. Got out, some more yoga stretches. Fit balling. Repeat. By about 5am I started to vomit. Anything that was in my digestive system came back out again. Vomiting from pain? Vomiting because Evie was compressing my digestive system? Vomiting because of the adrenaline flooding my body? I’m not sure but it was horrific. I’d vomit at the peak of the contractions, and it kept happening, until there was nothing left, nothing. Time went on, the vomiting subsided. I sipped some water. It was brought up with the next contraction, which by now seemed only seconds apart.
The exhaustion set in, I was so dehydrated, I was losing strength. The pain was worse and worse. I began to understand that my baby was posterior. She must be for me to be feeling like this. No one had felt and checked her position for me the previous day, or if they did they didn’t tell me about it. She had been posterior at my ob appointment 5 days earlier. I didn’t give it much thought, optimistic she would turn. Now with contractions in full swing it was glaringly obvious this was a posterior birth. It just hurt
that
much. Contractions seemed to last a minute with only a few seconds in between, like 5 seconds, I’m not joking, they were back to back. All the labour literature I’d read said 'there is a 1 to 2 minute rest in between contractions.' Absolute horse shit.
By about 9am the midwife put a drip in my arm, bypassing my digestive system so I could get some hydration into me. I started to feel better. By now about 6 hours had passed since that 3.30am phone call. I was offered gas and I took it. The gas made me feel dizzy and a bit out of it, but didn’t really touch the sides of the contractions. Once I’d started inhaling that gas I couldn’t give it away again, it became a crutch. My coping strategies were lost and replaced with this lightweight drug. My affirmation poster was pretty much forgotten about. My doctor came to see me as I sucked on the gas machine and blared out noises similar to a distressed cow, eyes watery and wild. She seemed to look at me with a disturbed look on her face. Possibly my imagination.
My cervix was checked. With contractions like this I must be at least 7cm along, surely.
"You’re 3 cm dilated.” What the fuck? I could die like this. I can’t even drink fucking water.
Dr Chua told me she was going to break my water. I closed my eyes. I knew that sac of amniotic fluid was helping cushion me from some pain and my baby from some trauma. I had no strength to argue, maybe it would make about go faster. I agreed. She broke it, it hurt as she was breaking it. I felt the fluid rush out, and immediately my contractions got worse, more grating.
I knew I needed an epidural.
I said this to the doctor. She said, “hmmm I think it’s a good idea” and asked the midwife the call the anaesthetist. He would be half an hour. Another half hour of excruciating posterior contractions. Fucking agony. I used the best of my mental capabilities to get through it.My husband was shocked that this was all so difficult and was clearly uncomfortable. I kept asking him to rub my back,
The midwife had been asking me to try and do a wee. I had absolutely no desire to wee and nothing came out when I made an attempt. Doing a wee was the last thing on my mind
As the epidural was administered, I sat leaning forward on the bed doing everything in my power not to move while a hideous contraction wracked my body. Thankfully no nerves were severed. I was given a dose just big enough to cut some pain, I was still able to walk to the bathroom and back and try for that wee. Still nothing, no desire to wee. The midwife knew my bladder must be full.
Everything quietened down once the epidural kicked in. I could lie on my side on the bed. “you can get some sleep” No there was no sleeping. Even though the pain was mostly gone. I could still feel the contractions rolling through my body, and I was still uncomfortable, and probably quite traumatised.
Andy asked if I minded if he went home for a shower. “are you kidding? NO”
He had a shower in the ensuite.
Meanwhile the midwife inserted a catheter to release my bladder. There was an awful lot of wee’s to release.
Within an hour the epidural was starting to wear off a bit and the contractions seemed to be getting more intense.
The midwife checked my cervix and told me I was 10cm and was ready to push. Only an hour after the epidural, 1.5 hours after being told I was 3cm.
Evie’s head had been pressing against my urethra not allowing any fluid to pass. However my full bladder was preventing her from progressing through the birth canal.
So once I had the epidural
I had the catheter
My bladder was emptied
Baby moves down canal
cervix opens
Viola, you’re pushing
Without the epidural and that IV drip who knows what would have happened. Labour could have been hours and hours longer. It could have been days. Severely dehydrated suffering hideous back to back contractions. I’m not really sure I would would have survived this birth without modern medicine. Sadly I’m not joking.
I tried and tried to push without an awareness of where I should be pushing, caused by the epidural. The midwife showed me with her fingers, and I asked her to keep them there so I could focus on that point.
A hour of pushing, we made some progress.
“I feel hair” said the midwife.
For some reason the pushing was the most terrifying part of the whole ordeal. My body was open, there was so much pain, was it getting worse? I couldn’t really get a good sense of what was going on. The epidural was wearing off. I was terrified, as well as being mentally and physically exhausted. I wanted this to be over.
My doctor came back. She asked if I wanted some help. Yes, I wanted some help. She asked me to lie on my back, propped up by the bed, legs in stirrups, the least favourable position for birthing naturally. She got the vacuum, and vacuumed my baby out. There were a few contractions more, the head was out, she was 180 deg posterior, starting straight up. As posterior as they come.
The umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her neck, three times. “Andy” Said the doctor, if you want to cut the cord you better come a cut it now.” Another disappointment, no delayed cord cutting for Evie and I. There wasn’t enough umbilical length to birth the body of the baby without cutting it, and of course there were the strangulation implications, not so much a problem while the placenta is still attached and working.
Andy snipped the cord from Evies neck, her body still in mine.
She was out with the next push. At 12:50pm on the 22 of June. And this is where I cry.
Evie is born
They put her on my chest, wide eyed, but still. Breathing in tiny little gasps, not proper breathing. She was there, quiet. Come on I said to her, rubbing her back, or giving a little tap.
“She’s not a good colour” said the midwife. They took her to the infant incubator, put oxygen on her, called the paediatrician. He was in pretty quickly. he was working on her with the nurse at the incubator. I listened for a cry. He got her making a few sounds. Cry like sounds, but not continuous crying. The Obstetrician was stitching me up. She said “you’re not saying anything” to me. I was listening. Listening for my baby’s cry, listening for the words and body language of the paediatrician and midwives, listening for inner guidance about what was happening.
I asked for Evie back. They brought her back to my chest, Only for a few more moments. Her breathing was still not right, she wasn’t moving, much, her eyes were open. "We better take her into the special care nursery” said the paediatrician.
The midwife said on my right, like an angel
Her heartbeat is good
and for this reason I didn’t panic. I was calm, and I knew she’d be alright. Andy was more concerned however and followed our baby out of the room.
I birthed the placenta, after an injection of syntocinin. The only syntocinin I had that day, thankfully. The prostaglandin gel had been enough to set me off into labour.
The midwife finished up what she was doing and left the room.
Everybody left.
I was lying there alone, a mere 20 minutes after the biggest event of my whole life. No baby in my arms, no husband at my side.
The loneliest I have ever felt.
Then miraculously my mother called. Mum I just had a baby. She hadn’t known I was in labour. We had decided not to tell anyone that we were going in for an induction because I felt like it would be pressure. It was difficult telling her I’d had an epidural, as my mother had a negative view of them. I was relieved to perceive no judgement on her behalf.
Andy returned with a photo of our little girl and reported she was fine, but they’re keeping her in to watch her. She had some movement in her left arm but it isn’t behaving like the right arm. She had a birthmark on her right eye. Shaped like a little triangle. A bit David Bowie.
Evie's first portrait, newborn
I asked Andy to get me a coffee. I hadn’t had one for over 24 hours. He went and got them. We drank them, just us two in celebration of getting through the labour. We debriefed, we were used to it being just us after all, and because our baby was still a stranger to me, that coffee between just as two was our last as just us.
Then it was time to go see little Evie. I was anxious I hadn’t had my hour of skin to skin after the birth. That she hadn’t latched on to my breast. That the time with mother and baby together one-on-one after birth just didn’t happen for me. I was also worried about her health. She’d been what the doctors called ‘stunned.’ Not a medical term by any means. No one explained what they actually meant by ‘stunned. And perhaps they didn’t really know themselves. She wasn’t quite present. It was like the lights were on but no one was home. Even for a new born.
I was wheeled into the special care nursery and there she was. My baby in just a little T-shirt and nappy. Tiny on a giant infant incubator, bright lights in her face, exposed, alone. She was jumping and screaming at every noise. My heart broke that she was alone and scared while my spirit was delighted to meet with hers in that moment. I was a curious and inadequate-feeling mother, as I hadn’t yet nursed her or taken care of her at all.
She had a sore head, they told me, from the vacuum. Indeed she had a cone head with a red circle on the top.
My first instinct was to brush her forehead. But she cried out and Andy told me “she has a sore head” I immediately felt stupid, but I shouldn’t have as this is a very normal first instinct for a mother.
The special care nurse encouraged skin to skin and trying to get Evie to latch on.
I sat there and she was placed under my hospital gown. There was no interest in my nipples, still stunned. “Is she alright? I asked the nurse, contemplating the possibility I have a brain damaged child and feeling completely prepared to take that on.
I held her there on my chest, and she slept. I too became very sleepy and even began to nod off for micro sleeps. After an hour Andy held her for a little while, she was much more alert, and despite not latching on, seemed to be acting more like a normal baby. They told me to get into my room and have my dinner. The last time the doctor had assessed her before our skin to skin, they had thought they might keep her in overnight as she wasn’t improving to their liking.
I was wheeled into my room and presented with some food I found I had no appetite for. I was told not long after that the doctor was happy to release her into my care for the night. At 6pm a couple of nurses knocked on the door ‘We have a special delivery’ and wheeled in my gorgeous newborn child.
They helped me express a little colostrum and Evie latched on almost immediately, she started to suck. It was such a joy and relief. We had a beautiful little suckling.
Beautiful healthy newborn
An hour on mummy’s chest in the special care nursery and she came good. Her lights came on. I believe if they’d brought her back to me once her breathing was stable she might have come good a lot quicker. We could have had that precious time together after birth. She wouldn’t have been terrified and alone on an infant warmer. She would have been fine. It’s difficult not to feel a little angry and sad when I think about this.
Evie is wonderfully intelligent and perfectly healthy. Once she was in that hospital room with me she fed like a champion and gained a fabulous amount of weight. We snuggled and cuddled. In the beginning I could make all of her problems go away by holding her on my chest. It was divine.
And the mothering begins. The next few days are a blur of feeds, short sleeps, learning how to swaddle, bath and change nappies. My nipples progressively got sorer. And then in the quiet in-between moments, when I had time to think, memories of the labour infiltrated my mind like a shadow. After a couple of weeks the shadow began to fade away. Behind me now, babe in arms.
This birth story is not the one I wanted for myself, in a lot of ways it’s actually the opposite of what I wanted, and awful. But the baby I birthed is the greatest miracle of my life and better then anything I could ever have hoped for.
Though this labour didnt go as planned, I now realise truly it isn’t the way they are born that’s important, c-section, induction, home birth, whatever, but that you have a beautiful healthy gorgeous baby at the end of it. Of course there is evidence for a natural drug free birth providing the best outcome for baby, but a natural drug free birth isn’t always the best pathway to a healthy mother and baby.
What I will do differently next time
Unless there’s a damn good reason, I’m going into labour naturally. I want the experience of natural labour, starting at home, or in the supermarket, or wherever, just not on a cold hospital bed.
I’ll say no to my doctor more.
I won’t let my waters be broken before their time, unless of course, there is good medical reason
This all being said, I won’t be so attached to the method of delivery. Had I needed a caesarian for Evies birth I would’ve been devastated. However, having been through this, I now realise you really can't control what happens in the labour room, or before it, no matter how much maternity yoga, hypnobirthing, meditation and green smoothies you drink. Of course I’d read this before going into labour, but now I truly understand it. Of course do everything you can to have a healthy, positive pregnancy and birth, but let go of any attachment to the outcome.
If your body has abundant and balanced hormones, a baby in the right position, and you are mentally in the right place, blessings to you, you are so lucky to be able to have a healthy natural birth. Cherish it with all of your being.
If my next baby is posterior, (currently I’m in my second trimester of my second pregnancy) I’ll be prepared for an epidural, probably quite a bit earlier.
I won’t be so attached to a particular birthday. To be honest, the doctor scared me into an induction for ‘medical reasons,’ however my attachment to a set birthdate helped persuade the induction, and it’s just not worth it for me this time.
I’m already seeing a chiropractor regularly and will commence acupuncture earlier. Evie may have been posterior due to a rotation in my pelvis. If I can fix this, I will.
Trust more. I had so many freak outs something was wrong during the pregnancy, when everything was fine. This time I’m feeling much more relaxed.
What I will do the same
Be as mentally fit and prepared as possible for the experience of child birth (the pain, I mean the pain). I got through 8 hours of posterior contractions with the power of my own mind.
Make as beautiful an environment as possible to give birth in
Visualise the most perfect birth experience possible.
Use an obstetrician and private hospital. I loved the care I received by the midwives at St John of God Murdoch. They were all so lovely and attentive. The only attitude I got was from the lunch lady! I had a private room with a view of a beautiful pond and a double bed. I considered a home birth but to be honest, I need the rest after giving birth, and I got rest in hospital. I don’t want to clean up after my own labour thank you very much, and finding space to spend time with my new born will be tough with my toddler in the same building.
The Obstetrician and I had some differing views on childbirth, however she helped me when I needed it, I’m feeling more confident to stand my ground when I need too.
Pray, create ritual, intend for everything to go as perfect as possible. Be grateful for the healthy baby I’m carrying and the wonderful care I am receiving.
Encapsulate my placenta. I really didn’t feel the ‘baby blues’ that nearly every woman feels about three weeks post-natal. I believe they helped me regain some strength quite quickly.
Love the experience.
I'll leave you with this link to a video of a very beautiful peaceful moment Evie and I had together soon after her birth.
I met my partner at the age of 20, we were drawn to each other like magnets. He moved in with me after four weeks, we were married in three and a half years. Nine years later we’d bought our first house.
At the time I got married, at 24, I figured I’d want a baby when I was 26. But 26 came and I was far from wanting a baby, and so was Andy.
27, no, still not feeling it. I was having way too much fun, and studying. 28, Babies were far from my mind, I could smell the end of a four-year naturopath degree. 29, we bought a house, I graduated. Babies felt somewhat closer, but I still wanted to get my naturopath feet wet, dip my toes in. Practice my skills. And then I turned 30. It was well and truly time.
I went to a 4 day pregnancy conference just for naturopaths. All about care during pregnancy, all the ways we can help our clients as a health care provider. They drummed into me a four month preconception program is ideal.
Nurture your eggs and your partners sperm, make the healthiest baby possible by getting your body and hormones in perfect working order.
Get rid of toxins, bad habits, anything that’s not whole and pure.
Go to yoga,
meditate,
Exercise,
Eat like a health queen.
First there was a detox. I started a six week detox on my own accord. I cut out all that was bad for me, but I kept losing motivation, falling of the wagon. I also had my inner party girl begging to be let out for a last hoorah before motherhood began, to kick up my heels and celebrate my freedom and youth. I got my 23-year-old sister over from Victoria to stay with me for a week so I could pretend to be 23 again. It was awesome.
She came and went, and I knew I had to get serious, and I couldn’t do it on my own. I didn’t want to waste any more time. I enlisted the help of Naturopath Cassandra Boylen, to set me on my path. Having her to hold me accountable was exactly what I needed.
She put me on some detox herbs and supplements. She gave me a diet plan, recipe ideas. I did swimmingly, much better then I was doing as a solo detoxer.
I did have one or two ‘educated’ slip ups, a couple of glasses of champagne on week four for a friend’s birthday. Its what you do most of the time that counts.
I was also taking supplements including probiotics, an antenatal multivitamin. I took Iron and vitamin D supplements after a blood test came back low.
The idea was to get my body in as prime condition for conceiving a beautiful healthy child. All nutrients topped up, hormones primed and ready to go. I also began eating meat after 11 years of vegetarianism. This is because good grass fed meat is packed with all the key nutrients you need for baby making, including B6, B12, zinc, Iron, essential fatty acids, saturated fats and high quality protein. And my iron levels were already on the low side. I intuitively felt that if my body was getting everything it needed, then baby making would be a breeze.
I was healthy in the first place. I could have been exercising a little more, but I’d been a diligent exerciser for most of my twenties. I’d been a super healthy eater for years. My one foible is that I’d regularly indulged in too much wine, and this was one of the major reasons I wanted the detox and preconception care. I wanted to heal as much damage as possible.
In order to make a baby you need a reproductive system that does what it's supposed to. I’ve been fortunate in that my reproductive system has always been reasonably balanced. I hadn’t taken any pharmaceutical contraception since I was 22, preferring to use natural contraception instead (ie I tracked my cycle and avoided sperm while ovulating). I’d noticed since turning 29 my cycle had lengthened by a day or two, and often I experienced a 29 or even 30 day cycle. This bothered me a bit as it meant things had changed, and were not as they were in younger years.
There's plenty that can be done with reproductive disorders such as PCOS and endometriosis. Please don't despair if you experience these or other reproductive issues, be proactive, think positive and please speak to a health care provider to get help.
Once or twice a year I would get crippling menstrual cramps or bouts of pre-menstrual depression, but I noticed these often followed a particularly boozy – coffee filled month. But mostly, my cycle was regular and dependable, an old friend.
I tried to get Andy on board with the preconception too. He’s not a big drinker, he eat’s reasonably well and has long given up smoking. However he is 46 years old (to my 30 years at the time of conception) and has a stressful job. I got him some special healthy sperm supplements, and nag as I might he didn’t take them.
When and if we go for round two the healthy sperm supplements will be non-negotiable however. Having the healthiest child possible is a no-brainer, why would’t you do everything possible to give your bubba the best start?
In my pre-conception phase I treated my body mostly like the temple it deserved to be. No one is perfect all the time, and it’s no use beating your self up for the odd mishap.
Truth be told, I didn’t manage to last the four months of preconception care. I was about at the three-month mark and I spent the week leading up to ovulation with an aching overwhelming urge to try for a baby. So we did, and little Evie (yes I named my unborn child when she was at about 8 weeks gestation) was conceived the first time we tried. She was meant to be, it was her perfect time to come into existence.
And there she was, just like that.
baby evie at 12 weeks
It’s hard to know how much the preconception care helped, because we had never tried for a baby before, so I have nothing to compare it to. What is definite is that we had absolutely no trouble conceiving a perfectly formed child, and for this I am unendingly indescribably grateful.
I feel the pre-conception preparation invited a healthy pregnancy not only physically but spiritually and mentally. All of these aspects are important for welcoming a new little being into your life.
It also brought me piece of mind, knowing I did my best to give my baby a nourishing environment in which to implant and grow.
The key health points to take away from my preconception experience are
Know your body. Understand your cycle and recognise when you’re ovulating. Ideally sperm should be ‘introduced’ about a day before you ovulate.
Your body is a temple, a healthy age-appropriate body will happily reproduce… You are biologically wired to reproduce. So relax and give your body what it needs. A naturopath can assess your diet and arrange testing to correct any nutritional deficiencies.
A pre-conception care program gives you solid guidelines to get into tip-top shape for conceiving. This is important for everyone but especially important if you have a history of food intolerances, IBS, auto-immune disease, and hormonal or reproductive imbalance.
It takes two to make a baby, so two people should be engaging in pre-conception care to ensure the best start.
Photo credit: Hannah Jones of Keeper Creative
I’ve never been so in awe of my body and also so shocked by it. I’ve never felt so much like an animal. Especially anticipating in another 19 weeks or so I will birth this bubba and feed her from my now more-then-ample breasts.
I giggle with glee at seeing my bump enlarge week after week, a smile that becomes a little stretched out of shape as I catch site of my thighs that now rub together and the butt that won’t quit (getting bigger).
There’s a few things going on here, cravings for carbs and cheese aside. My capacity for exercise has reduced, a desire for rich, fatty and nutritious foods has increased.
My hormones are padding my body out, gearing it up for the many breast milk feeds that are destined for the future.
Breastfeeding can take 2000kj a day, with that in the pipeline I’m not surprised my body is becoming super efficient at storing fat. I’m just like that. Any periods of excessive exercise are usually coupled with weight gain for me rather then loss.
A few weeks ago I read a blog written by an anonymous father-to-be, who expressed, quite bluntly, that his ‘previously 10/10 wife’ who was now 6 months pregnant was not sexy at all. She was a zero, a turn-off. He couldn’t bring himself to make love to her, even though she was super horny (a pregnancy thing) and wanted him.
He then went on to talk about how her growing belly reminded him of his own personal anxieties about becoming a father. His disgust for his wife’s body was way more about him then it was about her.
Whatever ‘Man,’ I read this just two days after my husband left for a two week trip. Had he been coming home that evening, I would devised ways and means to coax whatever reassurance I could out of him. But he wasn’t here, nor was I going to see him for two weeks.
“Thanks Mamamia for posting this” I commented, “Participate in the denigration of the self esteem of your target audience why don’t you. “
The next day the words of the article still haunted me. I didn’t want to become repulsive for making this gorgeous, perfect, gift-from-God soul baby, who is an absolute treasure to the both of us. Who I already love so much it scares me.
I don’t want to lose my attractiveness. I’m a young woman. Who wants to be un-sexy?
I checked out my reflection often in the days that followed. I began to realise, Pregnant bodies aren’t, technically, sexy. It’s true, there’s no biological requirement for a pregnant women to be sexy, she can’t get any more pregnant then she already is.
What’s the point?
And further more, I don’t want to appear sexy to any man right now, (apart from my soul mate husband). I have no interest in having another man anywhere near me, I’m sure this is another biological mechanism for protecting my baby.
I became at peace with my inner struggle. I decided it’s okay to not be sexy. I’m okay with that. I’m growing a baby, and that’s where my energy needs to be. I can be sexy again after the baby’s born with breastfeeding, gentle exercise and a healthy diet. And time.
Then my husband came home from his trip.
I didn’t ask him directly, but I can tell from our conversations and the way he feasts his eyes on this protruding womb of mine….
He is just as excited at my growing belly and milkmaid breasts as I am. More than excited, he is absolutely enamored with his unborn child.
This morning I got dressed to take the dog for a walk down by the beach. I put on a singlet top that no longer quite covers my abdomen, with bump just slightly sticking out from under the fabric.
Is this a bad look? I asked him. He said, ‘I don’t think pregnancy is a bad look. It’s let it all hang out, It’s ‘I’m pregnant and I’ve got a flower in my hair, and I’m growing another little flower in my body’ “
His very sincere way of saying pregnancy is beautiful. It made me smile.
He’s so in love with his baby girl, he’s totally embracing all the change that comes with it, all the changes that happen to me. And I am too, and this is how it should be.
Naturopath and Shiatsu Massage therapist with a great wellness blog
The part of this story I am thinking about the most though, is the way my hand jumped when writing his name.
When a high-profile case like this becomes news, the language used by the media and the outspoken medical professionals is around holistic medicine being 'alternative' and not effective.
It’s extraordinary that I was present when my father passed suddenly. Mainly because we live on opposite sides of the country, and I’ve only seen my dad for a handful of days in the last 15 months. I have shared the story of our last day here.
Flowers are the fertile expression of plants, they are the nectar, they are creative manifestations of divine love and life force. Flower essences capture the subtle healing properties of flowers in a safe and affordable way. It’s incredibly easy to make your own flower essences, and you can do so safely with any flowers you have in your garden.
This is a great example of how chemicals in many household cleaning and personal care products are assumed safe until proven harmful, when perhaps they should be assumed harmful until proven safe.
Both ultra processed foods and tobacco 'are legal, easily accessible, inexpensive, lack an intoxication syndrome, and are major causes of preventable death."
Some 'to-do's' have significantly more positive impact on your life than others.
This is a really simple, nourishing and easy one pot dinner, with plenty of protein and fibre and some healthy fat.
It's the kind of soup where you know you're looking after yourself with every slurp. The spices and ginger have some wonderful anti-inflammatory properties. It's inexpensive, easy, and counts as self-care points for the day.
A shiatsu at Wild Grace is a spiritual experience. Healing occurs in both physical and spiritual planes. A shiatsu involves breathwork, massage to physically manipulate and stretch muscles, and the use of healing sound to move energy out and through. At times I may guide you through healing imagery, and you may receive guidance from your spiritual support crew.
Here are some of most medicinal foods for your immune system, chosen for the phytochemical properties:
New research with some surprising new information on preventing and treating long covid, with some tips to make it accessible at home.
I’m always on a mission to eat the healthiest foods possible. Here’s twelve of the most nutritionally dense foods in our supermarkets and tips on how to eat them.
Have you noticed that you're gaining weight but don't think you've made any change to diet and lifestyle? Or it used to be easy to drop a couple of kg by cutting out snacks and exercising a little more but now that doesn't seem to be working. In fact, your jeans just keep getting smaller.
If you have chronic disordered digestive function, irritable bowel, weight gain, inflammation, low energy, autoimmune or chronic mental illness a thorough investigation into your microbiome can provide a very solid basis upon which to build a treatment plan and resolve your symptoms.
and maybe it was a missed opportunity to role model healthy self esteem and masterful life skills.
a gentle reminder to bring mindfulness to your dinner table and as an in-depth guide to how you can nourish yourself and your family with ease and joy.
Some herbs, like licorice, can interfere with the attachment of viruses to host cells and prevent their entry into the cell, helping prevent an infection from taking place.
I woke up minus the sore throat albeit with a husky voice, and no snot has overcome me.
Shiatsu is it's a combination of lightwork and deep physical manipulation of musculature. Rhythmic breathing and meditative music means you float out of the massage room feeling like you're walking on a cloud.
We all have a dialogue in our heads with a running commentary about our lives and opportunities. Do you let that voice diminish and debase you? Or do you train that voice to be on your team?
For the sake of better health, I want you to think seriously and honestly about what habits are impacting negatively on your health and what can you can do to avoid those triggers.