What success looks like for this stay-at-home Mama

This morning while Andy was around to watch little miss Evie I went out for a meditation in the back studio. I lay there and gazed out the window into the garden, extraordinarily grateful I got to spend the day mothering my gorgeous now 9-month-old baby in my gorgeous house with all my needs fulfilled. I was so grateful it ached. I chose a page from Doreen Virtues Daily Guidance from your Angels to inspire me. My guidance: 'Visualise your day being a success.' 'Hmmm' I thought, ‘What can I do today to be successful?’ Days spent mothering babies leave little room for what is traditionally considered ’success.' I thought perhaps I could clean a lot, tick off some to-dos, I could connect with the Divine Feminine and the Earth.

Once back inside after breakfast it was a different story. Evie’s become a fabulous tiny crawler and is into everything, typically finding the dirtiest most dangerous thing in the room to play with and sucking on it. She bites me when I pull her away. She pulls my hair and laughs when I say no. I stand up after prying her away from an electrical socket and hit my head on a hanging plant. “Visualise success” I told myself.

She likes to sleep suck and be held. I feed her to sleep, I’ve always done this and it’s worked fine but in the last few days once placed in her cot she arches her back, wakes herself up completely and kicks and cries to be picked up and reattached to my breast. It’s hard not to let my spirit dampen, as I need space and time to get my own stuff done, and she needs a good and proper sleep.

Nappy changes are a challenge with a vivacious baby fascinated and excited by the world around her. She can’t stay still while I lovingly change her very dirty nappy, she wants to turn over and dive headfirst off the change-table instead, smearing poo as she goes. It takes a long time to do anything, much longer then I could have imagined when I was a non-parent. There were no to-do's being ticked off today.

The thing is, it’s not about me anymore. It’s not my agenda I need to be concerned with. It’s hers. So while I make sure we all eat and our environment is clean, it’s her learning and her wonder at the world that I need to connect with. Not just for her well being, but for my own sanity.

Evie is completely and utterly in the moment. What she feels is expressed then and there; her mind is occupied by what’s in front of her. She’s fascinated by the smallest details and delighted by the simplest things. It's adorable and special and so so precious.

When I follow her lead and engage with what she’s engaging in she laps it all up. Not only do we share giggles, but moments of mutual connection, appreciation and pure love. I can see this connection is what she craves, I feel like I’m giving her what she needs. And in these moments, I’m a good mother.

So I’m going to try and remember this, to just slow down to her level. To be in the moment as much as possible, forget about whatever it is that I wanted to do, and just enjoy. I’ll even try to enjoy the prolonged boob sucks at 3am. Because if I can give her what she needs I believe she’ll grow to reach her potential. And that’s why we have children in the first place.

I guess today was a success after all.

One for the happy bank

I had this great idea of painting the dining table white. I was so enthusiastic I went and bought 4 litres of paint, as it was nearly the same price as 2 and I wanted to paint the bookcase also.

Andy initially gave me the go ahead to paint away during one of his, “oh yes babe” moments where he pretends he’s listening but he’s not really listening at all. He had a turn around once he realised I was about to start sanding and refused to let me paint it. He hated the idea of a white dining table. 

I listened to his point of view and tried my best to change his mind, but he wasn’t budging.

The next few days were speckled with grumpiness and a few occasions where we butted heads. Not about the table, I'd been trying to come to peace with that, but somehow regular daily happenings became irksome and difficult.

After a few days of moping around and being grumpy, blaming my mood on lack of sleep due to a teething baby, the table kept coming back into my mind. I was in need of this project. My creative self wants to be expressed. 

My mother self is very fulfilled but my essence is still putting it’s hand up saying hey, I’m still here, play with me. These little projects bring such a fulfilling sense of accomplishment once completed.

We all need something to fill our happiness piggy bank.  I find especially now I'm mother to an 8 month old, who dictates my days and evenings (bless her in all her gorgeousness) anything that I can achieve outside of mothering is worth it’s weight in gold.

Being creative is so important for happiness.

After Andy proposed a two week holiday away and I still didn’t cheer up (I couldn’t help it) When I eventually explained I was creatively stifled he agreed to let me paint the table, but suggested I paint in black instead.

Actually that’s quite a good suggestion. I feel I should listen to him, as it will add a big injection of edginess into my scheme. Otherwise, had the table been transformed into the slightly rose white shade I’d chosen,  and the dining chairs painted white and upholstered the gorgeous blue sky floral fabric of my dreams from designers guild, the whole effect would be super girly …  This compromising thing has it’s benefits. 

I get to paint my table and achieve that sense of accomplishment and Andy gets to feel like he has a say in our house style. Our home is harmonious once more.

So now what to do with all that white paint?

Image credit Designers Guild, designersguild.com

These two books tidied my house and changed my life.

Marie Kondo has helped me tidy up my act. I’m naturally quite a messy person. I’m a maximalist. I like lots of visual stimulation and pretty things. I also love ease. It needs to be easy. I aspire to keep a beautiful living space, don’t we all? Finding the balance between ease and clean is an art in itself. An art I’ve had to learn and practice.

As a youth I would throw my clothes in a pile on the floor, choosing my days outfit from the heap.

Since moving out of home I’ve learnt to keep my clothes in a wardrobe. I’m a visual person and am super conscious to keep only pretty things on display. Though outwardly there is an appearance of togetherness and order inside my cupboards was a different story. Tops kind of folded...more rolled... definitely not neatly thrown in my bedroom drawers. My tea towels shared space with some random other unnecessary items that made it impossible for the tea towels to lay flat. My linen cupboard- ugh. The bathroom cabinet was a jumbled mess of cosmetics and cleaning products.

Not anymore, things have changed around here. I’ve never been so neat in my life. My home feels spacious and roomy and clean. It breathes. It feels Zen.

I have a small collection of books dedicated to household organisation; all of them had their useful insights, and enhanced my homemaking abilities in some way.  But I feel it is Marie Kondo's 'The life changing magic of tidying up’ and her new release ‘Spark Joy’ that are truly transformative. She has done the trick of altering my behavior, and therefore my home. The joy I feel living in this space is now enhanced exponentially.

I have transformed, because now I fold things, and store them standing upright. I thought I was terrible at folding, but really I just hadn’t learnt properly. Konmari, as she is known by her clients, wrote that I just need to find the inner rectangle of each item of clothing, like a monk looks at a piece of stone and sees the Buddha statue within it all clicked. Now I enthusiastically fold my families clothing, in search of the inner rectangle, and the result is absolute tidiness. It’s been five weeks since I put my wardrobe in order and I’m still folding strong. The neat folded version of my drawers is so much better then the messy half-folded way they used to be that I am motivated to continue folding. Getting dressed is an absolute pleasure.

Konmari’s  method is unique because you start on categories of things rather then the place where they are kept. So you start by doing all your clothes, and then all of your books, all paper etcetera. The key is to only keep things that spark joy.  She also makes great suggestions on how to store the things you keep so they look nice and tidy.

To begin with I was bewildered and overwhelmed with the volume of things I own. In truth I actually read most of Marie Kondo’s first book about a year ago but didn’t finish it, although I was enjoying it immensely. It was my way of procrastinating on tidying.

It was only after I started reading her second book ‘Spark Joy’ a few weeks ago that I was re-inspired to read her first again and get stuck into it.  I was apprehensive at the workload ahead to begin but after the first day I’d reorganised my wardrobe and was so delighted with the results that I moved through Evie's wardrobe and tidied Andy’s space too.

I moved onto books with enthusiasm transforming my bookshelves into colour coded creations full of joy, and fattened up my wallet by selling what I didn’t keep. I was hooked. I cancelled appointments and social dates. I got into my office space, the bathroom. I went all throughout the kitchen, I got rid of nick knacks and rusted bakeware that were just hanging around, not being particularly joyful. Appliances that used to sit on the counter now sit in the cupboard.

The results are so satisfyingly organised.  Every item that I own now has it’s own place,  and my home as neat as a pin. Because I can now fold, I’m not scared of laundry anymore. I do all the laundry. My laundry baskets are empty.

I didn’t realise before how much my messy storage spaces was draining my energy. The clutter was creating extra guilt. You know that guilt, the guilt that seems to follow every mother around like a small child.

Last night, after a particularly stressful afternoon with a tired and teething baby I walked past the laundry all washed and drying. I smiled with pride and said to myself “you’re awesome.” It was one winning moment amongst a group of stressful moments. I felt on top of it and in control. In that moment all the time spent folding was worthwhile.

This wilderness is now a patch of dirt

Do you like this picture? The enchanted garden behind me is not out in the country somewhere, but instead is a gorgeous little wilderness behind a derelict house in a very suburban part of South Fremantle. It was a corner block, and this wilderness sat behind the house, accessable from the street, unfenced, wild and free. The gorgeously magical and wise peppermint tree was draped in a purple flowered vine and nasturtium. Everything was green, and lush, and breathed. It covered a space perhaps about 8 square metres. And was a beautiful home to birds, insects, reptiles and nature spirits. I passed it almost every day as I walked to the shops.  

The house was recently sold, and vandalised. I remember feeling amused that the vandals chose to vandalise an already derelict and vacant property rather then an occupied one, I thought it showed a conscience that what they are doing is ugly.

Today I walked past this house and it was gone. Demolished, a patch of dirt in it’s wake. Oh bye house, I thought to myself and then I did a double take. Where was my wilderness? I turned the pram around and walked back a bit, just to be sure I was in the right spot, that I wasn’t mistaken. The wilderness was gone, the peppermint tree gone, the nature spirits home a crumbly waste of freshly turned dirt imprinted with the tracks of heavy machinery. There was a couple of metres of vine remaining on the neighbouring fence.

I pulled Evie out of her pram and held her, having a moment, mourning for the tree. The tree that was and is no more. Surely, a tree like that would be worth keeping. It makes me wonder what’s going there instead, not apartments ,surely. If I was building a house I’d want to keep that tree in my backyard.

No whoever purchased that land is going to build something, and make some money, and we have one less beautiful tree to look at. One more cleared patch of Earth.

All the air those vine leaves were cleansing, they cleanse no more. All of the love and wisdom that the ancient tree emanated as it stood firmly gounded in the Earth, is gone. That ancient tree.

Although this was one tiny patch of wilderness on a small piece of ‘private’ land, the removal of this wilderness is a mirror or what is happening the world over. We clear space for our homes and agriculture at huge cost to the health of the planet.

The Earth, cannot come second to immediate financial gain, or a bottom line on next years tax return, this is crazy.

I don’t have the solution, but I have faith that our generation, and the next does. I can lead by example, this is all that I can do.

Plants have vibrations that affect the environment physically with clean air, and metaphysically by being pure examples of love and life. Plants bring positivity, peace and serenity to your space. Who doesn’t love a beautiful garden? Or a forrest of rolling hills, or flowers?

Please plant a tree, or acquire a pot plant for your window ledge, and take time to breathe fresh wonderful air. Feel gratitude for life and oxygen.

I love the Earth.

Beautiful Home: Make a meaningful cushion cover (for busy women)

One of the beauties of living is that we can continually reinvent ourselves and our surroundings to better reflect who and what we are in that moment.

 They say a change is as good as a holiday, right?

I was bored of my couch cushions and looking for an update. I found I need not look further then my cupboard. Inside was an old torn sarong, gifted by a past lover. The affair was fleeting but the sarong has been hanging around for almost 12 years. Its purples and blues have faded beautifully, and the texture so soft and perfect for resting a weary head.

I wrapped an existing cushion and was pleased with the way it perched on my couch, oh so hip. For the next couple of weeks I continued to wrap the cushion, remaking the couch daily and also adjusting other various throws and pillows, all of which my husband would swipe into the corner nightly as he settled in for some TV time.

This would not do. I was tired of picking up and re-wrapping cushions. This sarong needed to become the cushion cover it was pretending to be, for real.

So this is the busy mamas guide to whipping up a slap-dash cushion cover that looks super cool like it cost at least $89.95.

You need:

• A cushion you would like to recover. If you don’t have one try an op-shop, or inserts can be purchased from fabric and ‘haberdashery’ stores.

• Fabric: Use anything that is cushion appropriate as long as you have enough fabric to cover it, like your baby’s clothes that no longer fit, an old dress, anything beautiful that catches your eye. You know what you want in your home, seek it out.

• Sewing pins, sewing scissors, a sewing machine, thread.

• A zip that is slightly smaller then one side of the cushion. You may need to measure this with a ruler or measuring tape.

Instructions:

Remove current cushion cover.

Pin cover to fabric.

Cut a around three edges of the cushion cover leaving about an inch (2.5cm) leeway for hemming. No need for measurements here, you have eyes after all.

This is the hard part: You need to unpin the cushion cover and then flip it over ON THE SIDE THAT YOU HAVE NOT YET CUT. Don’t bother about the inch hem allowance for the edge you have just flipped over, because you don’t need it.

Pin the cushion cover down again, and cut around the other three edges, leaving the inch allowance for the hem on these outer edges.

You should now have a rectangular cutting that is twice the length of the cushion cover.

Decide which side is the ‘right' side meaning the side that needs to be on the outside of the finished product, and then fold the fabric so the right sides are facing each other. To repeat that again, face the right sides inwards.

Pin two edges together, and sew them, Use up most of your inch for the hem, but not the full inch. I’ll let you be the judge.

Stitch down the sides again for a doubly strong cushion (if you care for such formalities, If you’re too busy, bah).

Ok this is where we attach the zip. You will have one side of the cushion that is completely open. Turn down each raw edge 1cm, pin and and sew. This will make it look nice and neat when you attach the zip.

Unzip the zip, and pin one side of the zip to one of the edges, taking care to place the zip exactly where you would like your zip to be.

Use the zip foot of your sewing machine. Sew that side of the zip that is pinned. Good Ok, now you need to pin the other side of the zip, When you pin, pin from the base of the zip to ensure the zip is flat once you have finished sewing. If you pin from the top of the zip your cushion zipper could get a bit bunched up and bubbly.

With the cushion inside out, make sure all edges are finished up, snip away excess threads, turn out the right way, insert your insert, close your zipper and viola! Throw it on the couch and admire your good work.

You’re gorgeous, and so is your home.

PS. My husband blew his nose of the fabric scraps and gave me the idea of turning the remainder of the sarong into hankies. Genius.

Pregnant: The difference between sexy & beautiful

I’ve never been so in awe of my body and also so shocked by it. I’ve never felt so much like an animal. Especially anticipating in another 19 weeks or so I will birth this bubba and feed her from my now more-then-ample breasts.  

I giggle with glee at seeing my bump enlarge week after week, a smile that becomes a little stretched out of shape as I catch site of my thighs that now rub together and the butt that won’t quit (getting bigger).

There’s a few things going on here, cravings for carbs and cheese aside. My capacity for exercise has reduced, a desire for rich, fatty and nutritious foods has increased.

My hormones are padding my body out, gearing it up for the many breast milk feeds that are destined for the future.

Breastfeeding can take 2000kj a day, with that in the pipeline I’m not surprised my body is becoming super efficient at storing fat. I’m just like that. Any periods of excessive exercise are usually coupled with weight gain for me rather then loss.

A few weeks ago I read a blog written by an anonymous father-to-be, who expressed, quite bluntly, that his ‘previously 10/10 wife’ who was now 6 months pregnant was not sexy at all. She was a zero, a turn-off. He couldn’t bring himself to make love to her, even though she was super horny (a pregnancy thing) and wanted him.

He then went on to talk about how her growing belly reminded him of his own personal anxieties about becoming a father. His disgust for his wife’s body was way more about him then it was about her.

Whatever ‘Man,’ I read this just two days after my husband left for a two week trip. Had he been coming home that evening, I would devised ways and means to coax whatever reassurance I could out of him. But he wasn’t here, nor was I going to see him for two weeks.

“Thanks Mamamia for posting this” I commented, “Participate in the denigration of the self esteem of your target audience why don’t you. “

The next day the words of the article still haunted me. I didn’t want to become repulsive for making this gorgeous, perfect, gift-from-God soul baby, who is an absolute treasure to the both of us. Who I already love so much it scares me.

I don’t want to lose my attractiveness. I’m a young woman. Who wants to be un-sexy?

I checked out my reflection often in the days that followed. I began to realise, Pregnant bodies aren’t, technically, sexy. It’s true, there’s no biological requirement for a pregnant women to be sexy, she can’t get any more pregnant then she already is.

What’s the point?

And further more, I don’t want to appear sexy to any man right now, (apart from my soul mate husband). I have no interest in having another man anywhere near me, I’m sure this is another biological mechanism for protecting my baby.

I became at peace with my inner struggle. I decided it’s okay to not be sexy. I’m okay with that. I’m growing a baby, and that’s where my energy needs to be. I can be sexy again after the baby’s born with breastfeeding, gentle exercise and a healthy diet. And time.

Then my husband came home from his trip.

I didn’t ask him directly, but I can tell from our conversations and the way he feasts his eyes on this protruding womb of mine….

He is just as excited at my growing belly and milkmaid breasts as I am. More than excited, he is absolutely enamored with his unborn child.

This morning I got dressed to take the dog for a walk down by the beach. I put on a singlet top that no longer quite covers my abdomen, with bump just slightly sticking out from under the fabric.

Is this a bad look? I asked him. He said, ‘I don’t think pregnancy is a bad look. It’s let it all hang out, It’s ‘I’m pregnant and I’ve got a flower in my hair, and I’m growing another little flower in my body’ “

His very sincere way of saying pregnancy is beautiful. It made me smile.

He’s so in love with his baby girl, he’s totally embracing all the change that comes with it, all the changes that happen to me. And I am too, and this is how it should be.

Follow your heart and everything gets better

  If you told me two weeks ago my life would take this twist I wouldn't have believed you.

A couple of weeks ago I was reflecting on the spring equinox as a time for releasing the old and letting go of what no longer serves you. I didn’t expect the old to release quite so quickly and in such an unintentional manner.

Through a sequence of happenings that began on the day of the spring equinox, the celebration of new life,  it became obvious a position I thought I needed didn’t truly reflect how I wanted to feel or the lifestyle I wanted to lead.

Nature shifted, the planets aligned, the stormy weather began.

I realised, after several days of deliberation and meditating with a monkey mind, that I wasn’t being true to myself or what I truly wanted.

So, with my soul purpose to help our community heal close to my heart,

I chose to take a leap into spaciousness.

My gut was telling me go, to follow the beat of my own drum and practice Shiatsu and Naturopathy in a way that truly serves my clients and makes my heart sing.

To write that I wasn’t bummed out would be a lie. I was completely bummed out that the path I'd been walking had come to somewhat of a stand still. But this didn't last long, and the beautiful, gentle sunshine weather this week helps affirm my intuition that I've course corrected in the right direction. My happy heart leaves me secure in knowing I’ve definitely made the right choice. The support and encouragement from my friends and family have been outstanding.

Change is necessary for improvement.

On the other side of my amicable resignation meeting is freedom, and the knowledge that my practice is once again entirely in my hands. This is both daunting and exhilarating.

Divine timing reaches a graceful and loving hand,

and I find, like always, the universe provides. The week when things were looking chaotic and totalled, not one but two amazing opportunities present them selves. Yes the universe definitely has my back.

My wind chimes sing under the olive tree. My garden grows green, my clients show up, and I go about being my own boss once more.

It’s scary leaving a comfortable position into the unknown. At the age of 24 I first received guidance through my meditation practice to leave an office job and practise shiatsu full time.

I ignored my gut and stayed with the job. I was fearful, and studying, and things felt uncertain.

Eventually I did follow that guidance, albeit 5 years later, and took the leap into self employment. Since then my life has been a sequence of miracles and self-discovery. Everything career wise, heck everything life-wise is WAY better, even if the pay is yet to catch up.

I often wonder what would have happened, where I’d be now, if I’d taken that leap at 24 rather then at 29.

Time is our most precious commodity and we can’t afford to waste it on unsatisfactory living.

So yes, I’m a seasoned job leaver, love seeker. Sharing my story, and hoping you too will follow your heart.

Detox Diary Week 4. Winning!

I've been on a detox for the past 4 weeks.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it's that if you want to make any real progress you need to push outside your comfort zone.

Resistance had prevented me from properly starting a detox all year. It slings a rope around your neck and hangs weights from your shoulders. Resistance pops it's ugly, time-wasting head in to remind you that  going without simple things that bring pleasure and comfort is terrifying. Will life still be enjoyable without coffee, toast, and wine with girlfriends, wine as you cook dinner, wine on a beautiful afternoon…..? Yes there was resistance for sure, but once I pushed through, it’s like I’ve broken free from a murky fog into clarity and a fertile path before me. And it feels AWESOME.

Without a doubt, my detox has been successful because I’ve been gentle with myself. There has been two occasions where I really felt the need to have a coffee, so I had one. Two coffees in four weeks is not such a big deal, especially with all the help I’ve been getting with the detox supplements I’m taking, and lack of alcohol, dairy, gluten and sugar.

Some very happy things have been happening since I've been detoxing.

My skin has cleared, I’ve lost weight, and the bags are gone from under my eyes. I’m loving the gym again. This from a girl who has resisted workouts that span more then 20 minutes and  the slightest sweat for a long time.

I haven’t felt like a drink. Not one, zip, zilch. I feel healthier than I have for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t swigging the bottom of a wine bottle every day or anything, but I’ve always loved a social drink with friends, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to resist the temptation at an afternoon gathering, but so far it’s been plain easy.

My intuition is speaking louder. I’m seeing synchronicity all over the place. I’ve been fast tracking my happiness and spiritual connection after feeling called to begin Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles, I’m on day 8 and already feeling way more in tune.  I’ve started a new blogging course, which is absolutely adorable. I’ve sorted out my finances and set myself up with a retirement plan, Not to mention new inspiration I’m getting from everywhere, my garden, the beach, my clients, internet land.

Everything feels clearer, smoother, cleaner. I love it.

If you need to give a detox a whirl I have some great news. I’m very excited to be presenting MY VERY FIRST SEMINAR!  I'm giving a FREE talk on detox coming up on October 7.  I’ll release the particulars coming up in the next few weeks.

Of course you don't need to wait until then, you can always come and see me beforehand.

From my heart to yours

Lib

PS. I’m writing this in the George St Bistro, its so French style in here a coffee sounds delightful, But I resist! And this time my resistance feels like the right choice.

PPS Are you stressed? Have a shiatsu! It's divine.

How I gained and lost 25kg. And then put some on again.

After smashing on 10kg when I was 12 and then another 10 kilo when I was 13, I was horrified with my reflection. I spent the next few years of teenager-hood depriving myself during the school week and then bingeing on Friday night. A whole packet of Caramel Crowns and I were good friends. My giant butt and I were not good friends. The boys at school used to call me stumps.

When I was 15 I started to explore my spirituality. I did a magic spell to lose weight. It involved chopping up bay leaves into little tiny pieces, breathing my intention to lose weight over them, and blowing them to the four corners. Afterwards I went inside and fixed myself some toast, like usual, with Grandpas homemade Jam. I had a bite, and for the first time, realised I wasn’t hungry enough to finish it. I learnt how to tune into by body and listen. I could taste the density of all foods I made and whether or not my body needed it or not. Every bite of a chocolate bar tasted like fatty calories, and white rice felt, well, empty.

Thats me in the white, age 16, 75kg

My eating habits changed. I started to eat regular sensible meals. I was still tortured by my heavyset body, and longed for a boy to find me attractive. Slowly though, with sensible and natural eating I had lost 10kg or so by the time I turned 17 and when I turned 18, I had lost the other 10. I was 162cm and 53kg. In the end the weightless was pretty much effortless.. I hadn’t even kept a regular exercise routine. I had been walking long distances pretty much daily as I didn’t yet have a license. God bless 17 year old metabolism! Plenty of boys found me attractive.

The next 6 years after leaving high school were a breeze - well in the weight control sense anyway.

On an 18 year old roadtrip wth my bestie Kat

This entire time my relationship with food was effortless and I remained slight, though I must say being a cigarette smoking vegan might have had something to do with it. A bad habit I’m grateful to see the end of.

Age 22 at Yallingup, 54kg

I moved to Perth with my boyfriend. Andrew and I adopted a puppy-child named Jim, and we lived a very happy little family life. I was thrilled to fulfill my call to massage by studying Shiatsu Therapy during the evenings,  as I worked an office job to pay the rent. Andy and I married in Lorne Victoria (near my place of birth). The day was perfect. I had no body hang-ups and in fact, I had consciously tried to put on a little weight before the wedding so my boobs would look good in my dress . This plan went out the window when I pretty much forgot to eat for the week prior to the big day, running on adrenaline.

Andy and Me on our honeymoon in NZ

Something changed after the wedding. I was 24, suffocating in my corporate job and eager to study for a career that I actually wanted. My husband was at a crossroads in his professional life, and on the verge of setting up his own business…but not sure if that was what he really wanted at the time. Things were uncertain. You know, they say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and I began to diet.

I wasn’t even overweight by any measure, but I could definitely be thinner, and I absolutely hated my legs, chubby little legs that they are (I say that with love). I severely restricted calories and would sit on the bus hungry and miserable comparing myself with all the girls on St Georges Terrace.

Then one day, I got sick of being hungry and just started to eat again. This was the first yo yo of my twenties. Loving being a new wife, I developed a huge love of cooking and especially baking. Within a few months I’d regained all weight I had shed earlier and added on a kg or two. I’d started an exercise routine, jogging in the park and on the beach with my dog. But even with the exercise I still put on weight. The running made me hungrier and served as a mental excuse to eat more then usual. This kind of behaviour went on for a few years, my diets, though healthy and nutritionally sound, were coupled with extreme sessions at the gym and calorie counting. I’d successfully get into my skinny jeans and celebrate regularly with champagne and raw desserts....continuously for several months. Whoops now the jeans don't fit, and I'd actually put on a little extra. Repeat.

Everything changed in the weeks leading up to my 29th birthday. I was ridiculously fit, and time-consumingly counting every calorie. I'd lost 5kg within the previous two months and should have been feeling amazing. Suddenly a horrible and nightmarish trauma for my family back at home and a separate personal trauma for me in Perth hit in the same week, and on the cusp of leaving my security blanket job. I was shocked, devastated and gutted all at the same time. I realised I had been chasing a grueling illusion. A banging bod doesn't solve all your problems. My hot bod wasn't going to make my life awesome, it's just a hot bod. Sure, it helps, but it certainly doesn't make you happy.

The months following my gym attendance ...just....dropped....off. I had been a get-up-a-5.30-and-go-every-morning kind of girl. I used to proudly declare I would work out two hours a day if I had the time, but I just didn't care anymore. The motivation was gone. I started yoga, and enjoying leisurely walks rather then runs. I ate whatever I felt like, I put on 8kg.

It's been nearly 16 months since that traumatic December. At first, when my exercise motivation stopped, I thought it would come back "I'll get back into it," but then days, turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into a year.  Though there have been a few moments when I felt bigger then I wanted to be, I feel I've slowly made peace with my pants. Maybe its helped by my age, 30 now, maybe by the security in my romantic relationship, but if anything good came out of that traumatic time in my life it's that I now have a new kind of body comfort, a healthy, curvy, feminine shaped body comfort that won't compare myself to others or stress over not looking like Miranda Kerr. It feels cruisy, easy, free,  just how I like it.

I've actually been revisiting the gym recently, out of a want to maintain muscle mass, enhance my circulation, clear my mind and keep my skin young. There's no guilt for missing a day, or even for leaving early. I'm giving myself some loving kindness, and my resultant peace of mind speaks volumes.

You are absolutely gorgeous, no matter what your size, and you completely deserve some loving kindness too. Love the one you're with.. ....I'm talking about your body honey!. If you feel drawn to chat with a professional about your body love goals, don't hesitate to drop me a line or pick up the phone.

Happy Avocados and Mega Melons

Love Lib

Me, being curvy, 63kg

My wonderful reiki-healing friend Anyes and I on on my 30th birthday

It's Joy Time. 5 tips for Harmony in the Heat.

  Feeling a bit hot lately? Thank heavens for the air-con in my Shiatsu Studio! I remember one time long ago, I was with my Bestie and sweltering in 47° C at a New Years festival somewhere very far inland, close to the Victoria-NSW border. I’d noticed all these people walking around covered head to toe is dry cracked mud and nothing else (hey, it was Confest) and was quite perplexed at the reasoning behind this mud skin. We happened upon a giant rubber tyre tube and giddy with excitement launched ourselves into the bush creek that circled the festival. We drifted slowly with the current and then suddenly, there it was…. the mud bath. A big 3m diameter hole completely filled with gooey, slippery, dark grey, slightly smelly mud. My Bestie looked at me with a glimmer in her eye “let’s do it.” Oh my God here goes. I shut my eyes and started to wade. It was so cool in there. It was a muddy heaven in contrast to the relentless dry heat that beat on us from all places that weren’t filled with mud. With that mud on our skin we stayed cool for at least an hour, a very efficient cooling method by any camping measure.

But Alas, it’s not always practical to just have a mud bath and walk around practically nude. These days when the Perth mercury rises above 35 every single day we are well and truly in the throes of the fire element. Tuning into your body and flowing with the season is vital to maintaining inner balance and harmony.

The fire element is directly related to your heart meridian. Your sense of joy and happy spirit are dependent on the state of your fire element. Such weather extremes can easily throw you off kilter causing excess and have you wishing away your summer days. Here are some tips for keep your chi flowing freely and have you thriving in the heat.

1. Eat a rainbow of bright summery fruits and vegetables and get your chef on by creating gorgeous meals. Cold foods are indeed delightful in these conditions however too many cold foods cause contraction, hold in heat and sweat, and interfere with digestion. Ice cream and heaps of iced drinks are therefore not the best choice (I’m sorry). Instead lightly cook your food in high heat quickly, and season with pungent flavours such as ginger, garlic, horseradish, black pepper and cayenne. Hot food and drinks, and I’m talking about both temp hot and spicy hot here, induce sudden sweating and therefore have a cooling effect on the body.

2. The best foods to cool summer heat are apples, lemons, watermelons, limes and cucumbers. Try for a cooling atmosphere when you eat, like on the deck or a picnic in the shade. Enjoy with loved ones.

3. Heavy foods such as meats, eggs and an excess of nuts, seeds and grains cause sluggishness on a hot day. When you think about it salads, fruits, a little seafood and dare I say it tofu are way more appetising in extreme heat. When we don’t pay attention to our bodies it’s easy to habitually eat the same old menu, and feel worse off for it.

4. Plan a little holiday. Soon. Summer time is a time for outward activity and expansion. Getting out and doing something new is completely in sync with the energy of Summer. This is joy time. The health of your joy emotion is directly related to the state of your fire element. Any disbalance in this area means a disbalance of joy. So get on with it, action something that makes your heart sing!

5. Get up early and go outside. Reach your arms up and say hello to the sun. Outdoor early morning yoga, runs on the beach, Qi Gong in the park. These are all perfect ways to say hello to the day and keep your fire element happy. Summer is a very yang time, and the Sun is the most yang of all. To quote Paul Pitchford “Summer is a period of luxurious growth. Reach to the sun for nourishment to flourish.” Nothing like a little Vitamin D to nourish you and make you strong, just get under cover before the UV rays start to burn.

Happy harmony seeking my friends. I wish you many happy spirit summers and tremendous joy.

Shiatsu is a Japanese massage that brings your energy back into balance. So if the summer has already got to you, please don’t hesitate to see me! I’d love to help you out.

Love Lib

References Paul Pitchford, Healing with Whole Foods, 2002.

De-cluttering made easy; Clear your space with heart

Next Tuesday I will officially become a homeowner :-) These past 11 years since I flew from my mothers nest have seen me in many different living arrangements, from tents, to couches, to rentals of various quality and ocean side holiday homes. Finally a true dream has come true. I have a place to call my own, to decorate as I desire, and best of all, an organic vegie garden with a beautiful healing studio perfect for shiatsu out the back.

So gearing up to next weeks ‘Big Move,’ I am taking this opportunity to clear as much stuff as possible from my possession. The thought of letting go to my much loved and hand picked clothes feels akin to letting go of the the hundreds of life experiences I associate with them.... Overwhelming to say the least.  I felt like I needed some serious help for this task. Fortunately, as if divinely timed, Leonie Allen’s Amazing Biz and Life Academy is running a space clearing e-course with inspiration and guided meditations to assist me on my de-cluttering journey.

I lit a candle and cuddled up with a blanket and pillow on the couch ready to go into space-clearing transformation. Leonie’s meditation has me standing in a spacious protective golden egg and pulling off parts of myself just for a little while so I can be free to be the whitelight fairy angel healing spirit that I am (on the inside).  I was pulling off my legs, my hair, my arms, my jewellery, all painlessly and with ease of course.  I hung out in that airy-free lightspace feeling safety in owning nothing but my essence.

At the end of the meditation I magically put all my body pieces back together, got up off the couch, moved my candle to the bedroom and put on some relaxing music.  After my golden egg freedom exercise I miraculously I found it much easier to go through my wardrobe and separate myself from my possessions. My inner voice (that fairy-angel-spirit voice) had told me whilst in meditation to trust my de-cluttering intuition.  Surprisingly and to my delight, my intuition allowed me to keep the things I was scared more sensible to part with (yeah so I haven’t worn it in 10 years but still worth keeping, apparently) and I was guided to donate some more recent items that I probably would have kept if I were making decisions from my head and not from my heart. I was relieved to find that I didn’t have to throw out anything I really liked. The whole process was not so psychologically impossible after all, and I came up with some new outfit combos I hadn’t thought of before, so ultimately I actually gained clothes to wear.

Plus inspired by the label on a cute top, I visited the company  website on my wardrobe-clearing break and found a gorgeous black velvet dress that completely reflects who I am and what I want to feel like – at half price!

By throwing out the old I had made room for something new, beautiful and perfect-for-right-now sent from heaven, with plenty of space for hanging!

I feel like it’s a responsibility of mine to keep things beautiful. Like regular body maintenance is required for a clear flow of chi through your energy meridians, clear physical space in your home is vital for positive chi in your environment. I can’t help but feel clear space helps you reach your higher potential and experience more wealth, joy, love, creativity, health and job satisfaction.  Isn’t everyone happier when the house looks good?

If you want to find out more about space clearing and other life improving e-courses at the Amazing Biz and Life academy I can hook you up, just comment below or email me.

Click here for some more  tips on getting your chi flowing. I wish you much love and I hope to see you for a Shiatsu soon, we’ll get some space cleared in your shoulders yo. Sign up here for newsletters with specials and wellness.

Peace Love and Healing Angels

Lib xxx

Your Skin Will Glow If You Let It. 6 Must Dos for Complexion Radiance.

Feeling excited by all things healthy skin this week as I trial an exciting new offering, a delightful shiatsu facial that will be available very soon so watch this space. I am freshly home from a blessed weekend on the majestic Yallingup hill, I am yet to unpack but very keen to share some skin love aspirations with you.

In my teenage years I longed for clear, bright beautiful skin. I wanted the peaches and cream freckle-free doll complexion that my very best friend was blessed with. Of course when I look in back in photographs, my skin was glowing with youth, but at the time, I was my own worst enemy. I wouldn’t even leave the house without a protective layer of foundation.

I was prone splotchy red patches on my face, I’m sure because of a terrible diet with regular missed breakfasts and a often a large chocolate milk for lunch.

As I grew older my interest in health food and eating vegetables grew, the unhealthy self neglect and party habits of youth were tossed away, I started to exercise regularly and my skin got better and better.  Now I’m 29 and haven’t worn foundation in years. I believe my skin looked better in my late twenties then in my early to mid twenties, simply because I was a nutrition nerd with a keen desire for a sweaty workout.

Our skin is literally a reflection of what is on the inside. If we give ourselves all the nutrition and care we need, this self love will be reflect on the outside, no matter what your age.

Here are 6 absolute must do’s for a complexion you can wear with confidence. This is for everyone, from you daughter to your mother, and even your boyfriend.

1. Hydration

You know you need to drink water, and maybe you drink plenty, good for you, excellent, But many people don’t drink enough …I know I have my bad days. Water plumps of your skin cells keeping them full and firm and filled with nutrients

2. Exercise

Exercise floods your body with oxygen, the most essential nutrient of all, Well oxygenated skin repairs faster ,and eliminates unncescessry toxins. Oxygenated skin glows. If I’m heading out for the evening and want to look my best I always do some cardio that day, I can see the difference in the mirror.

3. Eat your Greens

Chlorophyll containing foods actually contain plant chemicals that reflect light and brighten your skin tone. If you eat your greens, you are literally eating a light, bright glow for your skin. Take this further, add a teaspoon of spirulina or vital greens supplement to your morning smoothie. Your insides will love you.

4. Essential Fatty Acids

Healthy fats act like a nourishing protective barrier for your skin cells. They help keep the cell hydrated by keeping the moisture in, and essential skin nutrients like the radiant vitamin E hang out in fats.  Make sure you get plenty of omega 3’s in ground linseeds, flaxseed oil, fish oils, and walnuts. Get you mono-unsaturated fats in almonds, avocados, olives and seeds.

5. Bathtime Bliss

Hot water strips your skin of protective fats drying it out. It’s so tempting up the hot water on a cold day but the drier your skin the less heat you should use. Likewise, vigorously towelling yourself dry will irritate your skin, causing redness and inflammation, rather lovingly pat yourself dry and apply a water based moisturising cream when it’s still slightly damp.

6. Antioxidants:

My favourite foods are loaded with antioxidants. These guys scavenge free radicals keeping you clean, fresh and beautiful. So just imagine you have all these atoms circling in your body. These atoms like to be attached to one another, just like people, but sometimes another atom will swing by, attracting a new mate and then leaving some poor atom stranded and left behind. This guy left behind becomes dangerously pissed off and starts causing havoc and inflammation to everything around him. If you have plenty of antioxidants in your diet, like the kind you get from berries, vitamin C and green tea, the antioxidants attach themselves to the angry guy left behind, soothing his bad temper, keeping everything peachy keen, smooth, youthful and beautiful.

If you have any skin tips or tricks to contribute please share them below. I'd love to hear from you.

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An important health tip children do naturally but we neglect

I remember marveling at the mysterious adult experience of ‘stress’ as a child. I was perhaps eleven or twelve years old and reading a newspaper article about the common experience of stress and the significant health risks associated with being stressed out. I had no idea what 'stressed out' felt like....what a fabulous age to be alive.  

Back then I didn’t need to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if there would always be a roof over my head. I trusted that it would be so. Once you feel like your own survival depends on you stress levels begin to rise.

Of course children feel stress too, but in a natural way. Stress is really a response to a perceived threat. Our adrenal glands sit on the kidneys and release cortisol when we are stressed, and with good reason. Cortisol kicks in the fight or fright response.  Your heart beats quickly, blood drains from your organs to go to your limbs to allow stronger quicker movement for running away or fighting back. As the blood rushes to our limbs it drains from our internal organs, slowing digestion and other body processes. You might even eliminate your bowels and bladder (when really terrified). You become completely alert, your brain works clearer and faster for quick thinking. Cortisol is an anti-inflammatory that will allow you to run longer or fight harder with less pain, lowering your immune response in the process.

The average Australian child feels stress daily, as do all of us, but they have the opportunity to calm down through play and relaxation. A stressor will ignite a fight or fright response to which the child will react, they will get away from the problem or ride it out, and then they relax. Everything is back to normal.

This child experience of stress is really how it is supposed to be for all of us, so the scientists say. In an ideal world: You happen upon a threat – it frightens you – The fright stimulates your adrenals to release cortisol – you become very strong and fast and you RUN. As you run you burn off the cortisol. The problem ends. You rest and digest, you feel cosy and safe, you relax, things go back to normal and you feel peaceful and happy.

Now lets come back to modern day.  Many people are stressed in one way or another ALL THE TIME.  It’s not as simple as bare bones survival like in the animal kingdom, we torture ourselves with our own minds, believing things should be different to what they are and feeling like we should be achieving more then we have. You work long and hard for years and years to reach the pot of gold on the retirement rainbow.  Then you can relax.

Continual stress means you are continually releasing cortisol…. So the stress response is constantly activated. This means lingering less then adequate digestion and and irritable bowel leading to nutritional deficiencies. The alertness brings chronic sleep disorder and anxiety. Your immune system is lowered…hello cold. Eventually the adrenals become exhausted and you start running on empty, and you develop some big grey saggy bags under your eyes. Cappucino anyone? Oh and guess what, caffeine stimulates cortisol release, which partly explains why caffeine makes you more alert and seemingly smarter for a short while. However too many coffee’s regularly will hasten adrenal burnout and heighten the destructive impact of your constant stress.

Good news! With a bit of action and mindfulness you can free yourself from this stress induced anguish.  Exercise is crucial for this as it burns up excess cortisol, just as nature intended.

You need to schedule in exercise and rest times to avoid burnout.  I say schedule because more then likely if it’s not scheduled, you’ll feel too ‘busy’ to relax.

By allowing yourself to truly relax, feel peace and just breath, you are giving your adrenals a well deserved break and allowing for restoration. Shiatsu massage is gorgeous for stress relief.  You just have to lie there while the practitioner works at healing your tension and pain. The deep breathing and rest gives your cortisol levels a chance to drop to normal. Be kind to yourself and enjoy rest time regularly to save your immune system, improve your sleep, retain nourishment from your food and to simply feel joyful.

Take Action! Schedule in 2.5 hours of proper rest time spread throughout the next week, and 2.5 hours of exercise (not all at once). Don’t tell yourself you ‘have no time’ just distinguish the difference between important tasks and not important tasks to make room for your newfound self-care. If you adhere to your wellness schedule I promise you will be feeling a difference this time next week.  I’d love you to share your de-stress activities in the comments below to inspire me and others on our wellness journey's.

I love inspiring loving kindness in the form of good health. I hope you got something out of this article and If you love hearing about your health please sign up here.

Thank you for reading my blog. I'm honoured.

Take extra precious care of your beautiful self.

Love Lib xxx

Maximise Your Energy. 5 delightful ways to get your Chi flowing.

  Vital force, Chi, Prana, call it what you will the idea that there an invisible lifeforce that determines our health, happiness and surroundings has been around for a very long time.

The Chinese symbol for Chi (qi) is made up of two smaller symbols; one that can be translated into vapour steam or gas and one that means hard and solid ‘uncooked rice.’

The closest match for translation of ‘Chi’ into English is arguably the word ‘energy.’  Energy can be both invisible and immaterial, like a sound wave, but also solid matter like a tree trunk (or hard rice), as is the understanding of modern day physics.

I'm sure we can all do with a little more energy in our daily lives. Here are a few easy suggestions to maximise your Chi-energy flow,

1. Breathe.

Focusing on your breath centers you in the current moment and oxygenates your cells. The more oxygen that is available to nourish your cells the more energy your cells will produce. Deep breathing in meditation allows our stress response hormone, cortisol, to reduce. This releases muscle tension, improves digestion (and therefore nutrient assimilation) and increases lymphatic flow (boosting immune function and helping you feel lighter.)

2. Yoga

A moving meditation. Yoga is a series of poses that are designed with the intention of channeling prana through heaven and earth. I know when I do a yoga sesh I feel lit up from the inside. I consider yoga practice imperative to giving good shiatsu, which is about optimising the flow of chi in the recipient. Not only does Yoga make by body, core and posture strong, yoga fills me with good vibes better enabling me to practice good shiatsu.

3. Healthy Healing Nutritious Food Choices

You know how some foods sound like a good idea but after consumed not so good? You become tired and want to lie down. Energy goes to 0. I find eating in tune with my body to be the best thing I can do for myself on a day-to-day basis. For me this means eating fresh and natural wholefoods that are in season, and mostly local. Eating gracefully and mindfully until you are just about full, and avoiding anything that is overly processed, refined, high in sugar or unnaturally white.  Getting a wide variety of nutrients is essential for energy production at the cellular level. My favourite foods for good energy are leafy greens, kale (I know this is also a leafy green, but it deserves a mention all on its own), green tea, berries, broccoli, sprouts, avocados, raw chocolate, apples, nuts, seeds, sweet potatoes, tofu, miso and seaweed

4. Shiatsu

It had to be in here somewhere. Shiatsu is about getting your chi moving in the right way, while also being a deep tissue therapeutic massage.  The practitioner finds the most stagnant and most deficient energy channels (don’t worry we all have them) and works at bringing back a healthy flow of chi. Shiatsu is all about balance, energy, rest, replenishment, peace and wellness.

5. Feng Shui

Feng what? I love the concept of Feng Shui. This is a huge topic but I will give you a paragraph long condensed version. Energy or Chi is moving around us all the time. The placement of structures and objects in your surroundings governs whether the overall feel of the area is positive or not so positive. You could also go as far to say that good placement brings good fortune, while bad placement encourages bad fortune. Fortune aside, there is a lot of common sense in Feng Shui. Keeping your home tidy and clutter free with a few beautiful plants, pictures and some soothing chimes are the basic recommendations for encouraging a positive chi flow. It’s true, don’t you feel happy when your house is looking good? Avoiding bad Feng Shui is actually quite obvious, like making sure doors and walkways are not blocked, cupboards are accessible, and things are in their place.  When my laundry is piled up and my bed is unmade I generally feel more frustrated and on edge. So yes, Feng Shui makes sense.

Taking action to integrate healthy changes in you life is like walking up a garden path to happiness. Perhaps you could take note of your energy levels on a scale of 1 – 10 in your day planner and watch how they fluctuate from day to day. When you have a good day consider what you have done differently to help your energy improve.

Please share in the comments below what you like to do to boost you energy, I’d love to hear it!

Subscribe here and I’ll deliver next weeks wellness inspiration straight to your inbox.

Take care,

Lib xx

Self care is NOT selfish. It makes you nicer.

Being female comes with a certain amount of guilt. We feel guilt for leaving our children to work, guilt for leaving work to attend to our children, guilt for eating that delicious cake and then the guilt for not exercising it off. We were raised to give so much of ourselves all of the time and we feel guilty and selfish if we book time out for some self-nurturing. But this guilt is self-defeating. By denying ourselves self-love we are basically saying to ourselves that we ‘are not worthy.’

The truth is that you are worthy. You are here, you might as well enjoy yourself.  Neuroscientist Rick Hanson says in his book The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom, that by allowing ourselves to focus on positive experiences, we are training our brains to feel positive for more of the time, leading to a happier more fulfilling life. Likewise, by focusing on negative thought and experience, we are training negativity into our lives, and generally, our experiences and thoughts will be more negative.

Consider a Shiatsu massage, a whole hour to lie and rest. Tension is released, muscles and joints are relaxed, circulation is improved and your cells are nourished. You are giving yourself the beautiful message that you are worthy of care. Your brain neurons are getting training themselves in making positive connections, strengthening your positivity muscles and enabling you to feel good more frequently in future.

Taking action in your life to make yourself feel good, be it meditation, prayer, exercise, healthy food or a massage, will ultimately improve your experience of living. A happier body will free your mind to focus on getting the important things done. A chance to stop and relax will allow stress levels to normalise. Most importantly though, a sense of fulfilment will allow you to naturally be a more generous, giving and loving member of your family and wider community.

Positive change starts from the inside. There is so much wisdom in the saying ‘in order to change the world, we must first change ourselves.' If you can think of something you can do for yourself today to enhance your feel good factor please share in the comments below so we can inspire each other. I’m going to start with making a delicious Temple Bowl for dinner with brown rice, home-made hummus, cherry tomatoes, steamed bok choy and a boiled egg.

I hope you enjoyed this offering. I will be sending health and wellness tidbits on a weekly basis, if you would like to hear more please subscribe to my blog. I’ll keep you updated.

In bright shiny healthy love

Libby x